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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24423478">Put Your Mask Down</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sushiwrite/pseuds/sushiwrite'>sushiwrite</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Depression, Doctor/Patient, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, M/M, One-Sided Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke, sakura bashing but very mild and reasonable lol</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 07:02:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>19,823</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24423478</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sushiwrite/pseuds/sushiwrite</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Uchiha Sasuke thought he has been hiding too many secrets, turns out his psychiatrist has more secrets to hide.</p><p> </p><p>"Years of shaping himself to fit in Fugaku’s expectations, Sasuke knows he cannot back out yet. Or even never. And Naruto, oh dear god, hopes to be on time before the spiral keeps going down. He can only extend a hand to a certain length, if Sasuke drowns deeper, Naruto prayed he is strong enough to plunge deeper together with him.<br/>If you would ask him why is he adamant to save a man who does not want to be saved, Naruto would probably just laugh at you.<br/>For he is not willing to say his secrets too.<br/>If Sasuke has been drowning for years, Naruto had drowned long time ago."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>69</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>118</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prologue ; One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is re-uploaded with Chapter 1. Because last time was just a prologue.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>P R O L O G U E</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke fingered the edges of the business card that was left on the top of his table. It was a miracle to him to hear his father addressing his mental problems- his <em>fucking</em> nightmares. </p><p>"You need saving." As calmly as that, Fugaku left his office, leaving him vulnerable and exposed. </p><p>"Since when did you get sentimental of my broodings?" Although he knows Fugaku is far from hearing it, Sasuke knows that was the only way for him to retaliate. Because Fugaku will always be out of reach- the unreachable, the unfathomable and the unreadable head of Uchiha household. </p><p>A shrill knock on the door interrupted his musings. His secretary opened the door, ready to announce his schedule. Although the same was sent to his email, Sasuke likes to hear them word by word. Sometimes, it is nice to slap these monotonies right to his face.</p><p>"At 1 pm." Then a sound of similar to a book being closed echoed in his office.</p><p>"At what?" He must have focused more on his own fingers massaging the bridge of his nose rather than the readings of his schedule.</p><p>"Konoha Clinic at 1pm sir."</p><p>"I heard it right." Although he knows he didn't. But that was not what he's actually asking. "What about it?"</p><p>"You have an appointment at that clinic, Sir. I believe Mr. President already talked to you about it because I was only told with these details and nothing more." The secretary had kept her head bowed down in hopes of not getting questioned with the lack of information about his boss' schedule.</p><p>
  <em>Ah, the business card.</em>
</p><p>Sasuke looked at the card once again. His head is beginning to ache more than it did earlier and he is sure that if he skipped this particular schedule, he would get an earful from his father. Not that the man is concerned to him.</p><p>He is next line, a successor.</p><p>Which company is headed by a depressed person? Definitely, not this company. Not the Uchiha Corp. </p><p>
  <em>I need saving, huh.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Alright. I'll visit that shrink."</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>C H A P T E R 1</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>It seems like his Sunday has been transferred to Monday. His last schedule for today is his schedule with the shrink. At 1pm and after that, he’s free to do whatever he wants. This was not the first time he would be meeting a doctor for his <em>illness</em> – just like how Fugaku words it. But it would be his first time to visit with his father’s knowledge. Years had passed by with secret visits to therapists, support groups and to immersions but nothing managed to get him out of this downward spiral.</p><p>Nothing made sense and nothing even mattered.</p><p>He was close to giving up, to actually label himself a lunatic.</p><p>Three faint marks on his wrist reminded him of how many times he had given up. But it seems like the world is not ready for it- not ready for the demise of an <em>Uchiha.</em> First attempt was the bottle of pills he had swallowed but his mother made it in time to save him, second time was with Obito, <em>his loud-mouthed cousin,</em> a one big slit in his wrist. Then the third time in his room, after he smoked, after he finally gave up, after it finally made sense that no one will accept him. Not even his death. Not even his death will be accepted for it was Fugaku who found him bathing in his own blood with two more slits on his wrist.</p><p>Fugaku holds his life and this time, holds his death.</p><p>“You are being difficult.”</p><p>Blue eyes stared back at him, hidden in rose gold glasses. But despite the words said, this man right in front of him was smiling. Sasuke has never been a fan of niceties and sunshine, because he likes darkness and he likes to brood.</p><p>But this guy, <em>what a mess of blonde hair. </em></p><p>“But it’s not your fault.” And there the doctor smiled again.</p><p>“Tsk.” Sasuke might have been managing thousands of employees right there and then but this doctor seated right in front him is too happy for a reason he loathes, for a reason he does not know, but yet he <em>loathes.</em> “Are we here to smile at each other or are we here to cure me?”</p><p>Sasuke allowed himself to slouched a bit, with his other ankle on top of his left knee, his hands on both sides of the chair and his eyes lazily looking at the doctor.</p><p>“So you are admitting that there’s something wrong with you? I thought that was not what I heard earlier?” This time, the smiled got even brighter. This doctor looked a bit mischievous for Sasuke’s liking. He was here because of Fugaku. Because Fugaku was never wrong and is always right. But it seems like this time, his judges lapse a little bit.</p><p>“Christ.”</p><p>“I understand.” Sasuke chewed the side of his lips as he waited for the doctor to continue. “I understand okay?” This time, the doctor’s smile mellowed a bit. And his eyes are shining brightly under the afternoon sun.</p><p>The walls of the clinic are lined with soft orange papers. It actually calmed him right away when he entered this clinic. The clinic was spacious but everything looks bright. There are plants in one corner and the large window glass illuminates the room in different afternoon colors. You can see the trees and some buildings outside. Albeit the humongous windows, it still convinces privacy.</p><p>“How about we start with your day?”</p><p>Sasuke forced himself from sighing. <em>What a load of bullshit.</em></p><p>“How was your day Sasuke?”</p><p>If Sasuke would laugh at a joke, he would probably keep his face stoic about it. But this question definitely gave a vibe that he likes and he both dislikes. He moved his body a little bit, just to adjust from his slight slouched pose. This time, he would mean business.</p><p>“Dr. Uzumaki,” called Sasuke in a tone he uses in his business trips, or when he wants to draw a line. Or maybe this time, when he wants to keep drawing lines. <em>Distance, doctor.</em></p><p>“Dr. Uzumaki Naruto, I appreciate you being friendly with me and wanting to fully “understand” me but let’s cut that shit by calling me Uchiha-san.” Sasuke saw how the doctor’s smile faltered. A bit of his eyebrows shifted and he bit his lips. Somehow, Sasuke felt guilty. <em>Huh,</em> since when an Uchiha felt guilty. He shifted his focus to the windows, but he kept his attention to the doctor. Something about this guy pulls him in.</p><p>“Whatever suits you, Uchiha-san.” The smile was back again but this time, it didn’t reach his eyes. “So, why don’t you tell me about your day now?”</p><p>Sasuke whipped his head back to the doctor, his eyes sneering. “I don’t know. I thought doctors of the mind can read minds. So why don’t you tell me? A business man came at 1pm in his business suit, what do you think happened to my day, doctor?””</p><p>‘This guy hates me.’ Naruto thought.</p><p>But instead of doing what he always does to coax his patients, this time his approach is different. Naruto knows what it feels like at the receiving end. And this time is not much of a difference except that Sasuke is making it ten times hard for him. Usually the patients came in and expressed their cluelessness with the chaos in their minds but Sasuke knows why he is here and he will not make it easy for Naruto.</p><p>Nothing comes in Sasuke’s life in a snap of a finger. They came in, they got destroyed, and they promise not to come back. What makes this guy, this blonde doctor with tan skin, thinks he is different?</p><p>But Naruto knows what to do.</p><p>“Alright.” Naruto answered quietly. He stood up and removed his white coat revealing an brown-orange sweater that has been peeking in his coat earlier- a beautiful one, with a black rim at the collar and at the wrists. “Now I am not your doctor but, let’s say a friend.” His voice now reduced to a whisper.</p><p><em>Uchihas don’t have a friend.</em> But Sasuke kept his stern face amidst his amusement.</p><p>“Take off your glasses.” He bemused before he even stopped himself but Naruto heard him right as the other guy began removing it. <em>Jesus Christ, he’s beautiful.</em> Sasuke tried to keep his emotions at bay and let himself settled instead at frowning.</p><p>“Now that I can’t see you.” At the emphasis of you, Sasuke’s eyebrows raised. <em>He knows. The shrink knows.</em> “Would you mind me telling now what happened to your day?”</p><p>Impressive. Sasuke thought. The shrink is quick to catch up how he likes to keep his emotions in check. Now that he can’t see his face, Sasuke is free to smile, to frown nor to bite his lips whenever he wanted. Brilliant.</p><p>“Dr. Uzumaki. I don’t have a day. I only have a “schedule”. My day won’t exist if I don’t have a schedule.” He allowed his self to smile a little bit but that is because he knows that’s far he can get. Who would smile at such predicament?</p><p>“Then tell me about your schedule then.”  </p><p>“My schedule, huh.”</p><p>Naruto nodded a bit enthusiastically and yet Sasuke found himself getting excited as well.</p><p>“Yes, what does your schedule say?” Naruto prodded. Both of his hands are on his lap and his eyes still shine brightly as the warm orange afternoon sunlight envelopes him.</p><p>“My schedule says that I have to wake up at 5:30 in the morning, at 6 I will have breakfast and at 6:30 I will leave the house so I can start working at 7.” Sasuke bristled but he knows none of this amuses the doctor. “Just like everyone else.”</p><p>Naruto pursed his lips and said, “Well not everyone else, I for one wakes up at 8 then I ran a mile or two then I prepare for work at 10.” Then he smiled but this time Sasuke sucked his lips.</p><p>“You don’t eat breakfast?”</p><p>“We’re getting personal, huh.” There, Naruto’s eyes twinkle to Sasuke’s dislike. “Does that mean you trust me now?”</p><p>“Not a chance.” But there was a hint of challenge in Sasuke’s tone. He leaned back to the chair not knowing that he even leaned forward. Sasuke subtly looked at the clock at the wall behind the doctor and mentally sigh. He is not going to waste his time here. He put his hand on his chin. A habit he adopted whenever a growing irk fills him.</p><p>“Dr. Uzumaki, I don’t think we are going anywhere with this discussion.” Abruptly, Sasuke stood up and gathered his belongings.</p><p>Suddenly a hand shot to his wrist and held it in a vise grip. “We are.”</p><p>“Pardon?” Sasuke looked back at his wrist and at the face of his doctor. His eyes are still shining in an interesting shade of blue, there’s a dusk of pink coloring his cheeks and his face, <em>oh god</em>, it looks warm under the afternoon light.</p><p>“We are-“</p><p>But Sasuke had enough and would not spare a time to listen. “We aren’t. In fact, this session will end without you fully knowing me and me forgetting that I know you.”</p><p>In a quick second, Sasuke saw how his doctor’s eyes shifted. Suddenly, it holds so much resolve and the grip in his hand got stronger.”</p><p>“Oh, there is. Actually Uchiha-san, in a few unwilling answers you gave me, you already bared yourself to me like that.” If a voice can bite, Sasuke knows his wrist was already bitten. Gone is the soft and mellow aura of his doctor because right now is a man whose hand is wrapped around his wrist and feels like a friend taunting and challenging him.</p><p>It feels warm and liberating even if there’s a suffocating grip keeping him at ground.</p><p>“You are a workaholic person who thinks everyone acts like you so that you can think you are not a stand out stone. That you are not a rotten amongst the fresh. That you are just like me, like everyone else. You are a perfectionist who offers no room for mistakes and yet you are here unwilling.”</p><p>Sasuke tried to wrench his hand away from his doctor but failed. “A rotten. And unwilling perfectionist huh? You think twenty minutes of talking is enough to know me?”</p><p>But Naruto paid no attention and continued his talk, “I am not like you because I am not workaholic, I am willing and I am not a perfectionist.”</p><p>At this point, Sasuke noticed that the doctor has not put his eyeglasses back. If he did, he would see all the whirlwind of emotions displayed on his face right for him to see.</p><p>“And I am not afraid.”</p><p>Sasuke faced the doctor abruptly, his left hand still holding his things while the doctor’s hand kept it at bay, still holding his wrist. So he used his other hand to grip Naruto’s face. A soft gasp was heard from the other but Sasuke has other things he wants to hear.</p><p>“Listen, doctor.” He saw how Naruto’s eyes tried to focus on his face while his hands on his jaw. Sasuke wonders if his doctor can see his face clearly while being this close without his eyeglasses. “If I am afraid I wouldn’t be here. And you think I am afraid of you?”</p><p>“You are not afraid of me, but of yourself.”</p><p>Sasuke gripped Naruto’s face harder and if he listens to his brain a bit, he would hear it telling him that it is going to bruise. But Sasuke had enough of this doctor that his father recommends. If there is something that Fugaku has ever done wrong in his life, aside from being a father, is that when he endorsed this doctor.</p><p>Sasuke narrowed his eyes while Naruto’s seem to shine more.</p><p> </p><p>“I am not-”</p><p> </p><p>“If you aren’t, then why are you getting rid of yourself?” and Sasuke’s senses suddenly seemed to recognize <em>again</em> the warm hand around his wrist.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t-“ Sasuke started and to his dismay, the hand slowly left his wrist. “What are you trying to get from me Doctor Uzumaki?”</p><p>Slowly, when the beating of his heart gets louder, Naruto smiled and whispered.</p><p>“Your cooperation.”</p><p> </p><p>“My cooperation.” Sasuke tested the words in his tongue and it left a bitter aftertaste.</p><p> </p><p>“So that I can save you.”</p><p> </p><p>Had the doctor put back his glasses on, Naruto would see the look on Sasuke’s face.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>You need saving.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Although he can practically do whatever he wants after his session with the blonde doctor, Sasuke chose to come back to the office and do some readings over the financial reports that were submitted to him by Shikamaru’s department.</p>
<p>As the news said, Uchiha Corp. will not be second in any league as long as they have the Naras, and well, the Uchihas. That’s why they’re always on top. The <em>first</em> and the <em>most.</em></p>
<p>But Sasuke sneered at that. Itachi has long been free from these hell of an empire. His older brother has been removed from the family register and eventually, from any place in Japan. He then wonders if Itachi managed to flee from nightmares too. From Fugaku’s shadows and their mother’s weepings.</p>
<p>If there is a place called home, Sasuke is yet to find where it is.</p>
<p>The soft purple glow of the skies and the bright orange hue mixing in it tells Sasuke that his afternoon was only spent on two things: going to the doctor and going back to the office despite his clear schedule. He should be celebrating that his Monday has been cleared first time in his 28 years of existence.</p>
<p>He eyed the clock beside him and pondered wearily.</p>
<p>
  <em>Well, time for a snack.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>“Never knew a vodka can be a snack.” Obito sat down beside him, but his attention was elsewhere. He then winked at the bartender with nametag that says Kakashi. “You are awfully dark today.” Then he signaled for a drink. “Cherry on top, please.”</p>
<p>“If I were a weather man, I’m sure as hell I could say there’s dark clouds above your head.”</p>
<p>But Sasuke did not flinch and instead went to down one more glass.</p>
<p>Obito received his drink and winked at the bartender one more time. Then he leaned to Sasuke and had his attention on him now.</p>
<p>“I went to the shrink.” Another gulp. Then he winced and Obito had to stifle a laugh.</p>
<p>“Oh the cute one.” Sasuke glared at him for invading such information. “Mr. President said I had to make sure you went. That’s how I knew it.”</p>
<p>“You knew his name but how come you knew his face.” Sasuke spotted a guy lingering at the dark. His hair was blonde and for a moment, his mind reeled back to that one blonde tan doctor he met earlier. “Did you follow me?”</p>
<p>Obito bit the cherry that was on top of his cocktail. “Never did and never would. But it doesn’t hurt to search for such a cute name. Turns out even his face is cute.”</p>
<p>“Shut up, Obito.”</p>
<p>“Dr. Uzumaki Naruto. 27.” <em>You’re afraid of yourself.</em></p>
<p>“Shut up.” Sasuke thought he was sure it was for Obito but then he knows it’s for the voice inside his head.</p>
<p>“A young fine man with such high degree. Never heard an Uzumaki before but he must come from a wealthy family, no?”</p>
<p><em>Your cooperation</em>.</p>
<p>“Fuck you, Obito.” Sasuke had enough and gulped the remaining glass of vodka. He stumbled a bit but was balanced with a hand in his wrist. <em>Christ, why does he have to always think of that shrink.</em> For a moment, his wrist burned just how it was kept warm a while ago. Except this time, he didn’t want any hand in his skin.</p>
<p>“Oops sorry.” Obito eyed the faint three marks on Sasuke’s wrist. His cousin may not tend to hide it but he is not keen to show its story for everyone else either. “But my dear Sasuke, the night’s still young.”</p>
<p>Sasuke’s eyes moved again to where he spotted the blonde man earlier.</p>
<p>“You know, a vodka may be a nice snack.” Obito snickered. “But there’s still another treat I want you to taste.” Obito stirred his cocktail with a wide grin. “Deidara’s the name.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>*</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Naruto was ready to go home and retire for the day when his secretary slashed cousin barged in his office.</p>
<p>“Hey worrywart, your boyfriend’s here.”</p>
<p>Karin, whose hair was as red as his mother’s, is really good with her image. During the day, she turns into a sexy, accommodating and jolly receptionist but when the moment Naruto flipped the sign to “we’re closed”, it seems like Karin had turned off one of her personalities too. She sauntered with her legs wide at each sides, hair sticking to the sides and voice as loud as she could ever be.</p>
<p>Naruto perked up upon hearing Karin. If there is something that he dreaded, that would be staying home alone. But today he does not have to worry about that. Because his boyfriend is here to pick him up.</p>
<p>“On the phone.”</p>
<p>“On the what?” Naruto almost lost hold with the files and Karin immediately took it away from him.</p>
<p>“Naruto,” she sighed. Karin is a loud, rambunctious woman, not fit for giving a solemn advice. And Naruto knows what that sigh definitely mean. Karin is not going to offer more than that. And Naruto is not going to ask for more either.</p>
<p>“Hey Hidan.” Naruto purred lovingly although he was greatly disappointed.</p>
<p>[“Hey blondie]</p>
<p>“Stop calling me that.” Naruto never wanted to be addressed like that but Hidan always found a way.</p>
<p>[“Okay, hey sweetheart.] Naruto snorted but smiled nonetheless. [“What are you up to?]</p>
<p>“I’m doing my homework.”</p>
<p> </p><ul>
<li>Uchiha Sasuke. 28 years old.</li>
<li>The only son of the business tycoons Uchiha Fugaku and Uchiha Mikoto.</li>
<li>Business spans across almost every essential sector in the country.</li>
<li>Attempted suicide three times</li>
<li>Spent months in a mental facility at the coast after the death of a classified member of the clan</li>
<li>Grew up in a secluded area, with strict measures who to interact with, spent his childhood in an exclusive for boys school</li>
<li>Engaged to Haruno Sakura, the daughter of the biggest telco in the country</li>
<li>Was crucially kept in the shadows, away from the media, upon the discovery of his true sexuality by his parents when he was-</li>
</ul>
<p>[“You have all the lights up don’t you?”]</p>
<p>Naruto suddenly remembered that he’s still in the phone with his boyfriend.</p>
<p>“No. I am still in the office. But I would be home in half an hour maybe.” Silence made way to Naruto’s side but the other side is filled with shouts and howling laughs. Hidan is still probably in the precinct. Him being a cop really cut their time together.</p>
<p>[I’ll buy you a new lamp. I know all the lights in your apartment are not yet enough.]</p>
<p>Naruto snorted. This and that and many more promises. But broken promises are part of a relationship, right?</p>
<p>“You told that last time.”</p>
<p>[Christ, did I?”] Hidan laughed, a bit deranged if someone would say. Until now, Karin still asks him how on earth did he end up with Hidan. [How about I make up for that?]</p>
<p>Naruto smiled. He hopes this time… “Fine. And what would you do?”</p>
<p>[Dinner tomorrow at 8pm, blondie. How about that?]</p>
<p>“I told you not to call me-“</p>
<p>[Sweetheart, sweetcakes, pumpkin and the list goes on.]</p>
<p>Naruto bit his lip. This time, Hidan is really getting on his nerves.</p>
<p>“Yeah, see you.”</p>
<p>Then he was met with a beeping tone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He looked at the photo clipped in the document about Uchiha Sasuke. A set of dark, cold eyes are staring back at him. His hair is even black with a decent hue of blue in it. His skin, a pale alabaster one.</p>
<p>He looks perfect. Handsome. Strikingly beautiful.</p>
<p>And yet his background screams nothing but chaos- disarray, disorganized, turmoil.</p>
<p>He is a severe case. People who are emotionally intelligent often found themselves tangled in high-functioning depression. Sasuke knows in which landmine of sadness he landed, he knows in which part of darkness he is hiding.</p>
<p>And with trauma, he has no plans of coming out.</p>
<p>And that’s where Naruto plans to step in.</p>
<p>Years of shaping himself to fit in Fugaku’s expectations, Sasuke knows he cannot back out yet. Or even never. And Naruto, <em>oh dear god,</em> hopes to be on time before the spiral keeps going down. He can only extend a hand to a certain length, if Sasuke drowns deeper, Naruto prayed he is strong enough to plunge deeper together with him.  </p>
<p>If you would ask him why is he adamant to save a man who does not want to be saved, Naruto would probably just laugh at you.</p>
<p>For he is not willing to say his secrets too.</p>
<p>If Sasuke has been drowning for years, Naruto had drowned long time ago.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>*</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sasuke woke up with a start. A pounding headache met him and what makes the situation worst is nothing in his surroundings seem familiar. Soon the figure beside him woke up. A blonde man- a long-haired one. <em>Not the short one he thought he saw in his dreams.</em></p>
<p>“Jesus, who the fuck are you?”</p>
<p>The man smiled but winced immediately. Apparently, they left the curtains open last night hence, a mouthful of blinding sunshine entered the room.</p>
<p>“The name’s Deidara.”</p>
<p>Sasuke felt like a bucket of water was poured over him. And he suddenly remembered what his cousin told him last night. “Obito. Fuck that loud-mouth-“</p>
<p>“Is calling you right now.”</p>
<p>“Fuck.” Sasuke stumbled to find his phone and the other man had the audacity to look away from Sasuke’s nakedness. <em>Pathetic</em>. He mentally chided.</p>
<p>“My dear cousin, good morning to you!”</p>
<p>“Fuck you too Obito.”</p>
<p> A laugh so rowdy met his ears, exponentially making his headache worse. “Rise and shine Sasuke, save your ass and come here to the office it’s fucking 9! You have a meeting in 30 minutes.”</p>
<p>And damn Obito has the guts to greet him with a laugh.</p>
<p>“With Mr. President!”</p>
<p>“Fucking hell.” He then looked at the man on the bed. Bile rising up in his throat. It has exactly six months since he let himself get back in this side of the town- <em>or his self.</em> This is not you Sasuke. His father told that to him multiple times. Several times he needed to hide this monster in him. This dirt. This stain in his name. Is Sakura not enough? Must he not appreciate a man for what he deserved? Must it always be a woman?</p>
<p>
  <em>We, Uchiha, don’t tread that water Sasuke, my son.</em>
</p>
<p>And Obito has to look the other way. Careful not to meet Fugaku’s eyes.</p>
<p>Never in his life that Sasuke has been late. Not even once, his schedule was ruined. Sasuke lives in perfection- in order, no matter how ironic it sounds. His day starts with a schedule and ends with a schedule. Sasuke thought that keeping a routine reminds him that there is one thing in his life that he can control.</p>
<p>And he has been in control for years. Except his outbursts to end his life. <em>But that’s not you Sasuke.</em></p>
<p>Fuck. He feels like puking. He feels like he should retch the remnants of last night. He is a man of routine. And to wake up in a mess definitely ruined the system he built for years.</p>
<p>He showered quickly. Five minute tops. If he goes down now and drive straight to the company, Sasuke will still be on time. Obito is still in his right mind to bring them in the closest hotel chain they own. Obito knows his business so Sasuke does not know what went inside his head to –</p>
<p>“Shit.” He closed the door with a bang. He does not care whether that Deidara would get mad and follow him. Obito brought this mess, he will fix this mess.</p>
<p>He was six minutes to driving and still have a decent ten-minute spare before the meeting with his father when he received a text.</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>[Thanks for the fuck. But most of all, thanks for the kiss. Dang, what an out-of-this-world.]</em>
</p>
<p>Sasuke, for a moment, closed his eyes.</p>
<p>Inhaling deeply before he sees red. Before he runs mad.</p>
<p>There are only two men that Sasuke had kissed. And all of them are nothing but regret. Every time it happens, he sees his father. His mother, crying on his bed. His self, mocking at him.</p>
<p>When the light went green, Sasuke maneuvered for a U-turn.</p>
<p>
  <em>You’re afraid of yourself.</em>
</p>
<p>He pressed on the gas more, his heart beating fast as his car sped away from where he originally intends to drive.</p>
<p>Two minutes before the meeting with his father.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And yet Sasuke chose to see someone else.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m not afraid of myself.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sasuke sped once more.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I’ll show you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>*</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was minutes past 9 and yet Naruto can’t help himself but to smile. He intended to open the clinic an hour earlier because later at night, Hidan promised to take him out for a dinner.</p>
<p>But he can already here a muted commotion outside. Did he schedule a person with Schizophrenia this early? He thought Karin liaise with the center for an afternoon session?</p>
<p>“Uchiha-san, I’m sorry but-” Karin intercepted and Naruto can’t help but to gasp. Sasuke will not see him for at least a couple of hours. What is he doing here?</p>
<p>The other man stumbled in the threshold of his office and Karin has the time to school her angry face.</p>
<p>Sasuke heaved while Naruto remained standing, files in his hand.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I needed to see you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Naruto closed his mouthed and gulped.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So do you trust me now?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sasuke noted that the doctor is not smiling, not sporting his bright smile and he yearned for it to see.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Not yet. But here I am. Cooperating.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And Naruto smiled. Full with teeth. His eyes twinkling in mirth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sasuke worked his tongue to stop from licking his own lips.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>There you go.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you so much for the comments from the previous chapter! I am too motivated to write because of it! How about this chapter? What are your thoughts on this?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So, I guess I can officially say that this will be a slowburn? Nahh kidding haha. But we need to develop 'em plot and angst. I also want to say that this fic is not going to be as dark as how you imagined it to be but I figured out it will be a little sensitive for those who suffer from depression. This fic will not describe nor portray any suicide but there would be mentions of it. Thoughts of a sad man will be written so if you suffer from something, please do not read this. It may NOT trigger anything but it could be uncomfortable to some. But good news, Naruto's rescue mission to our man Sasuke could also serve as vicarious experience for some. But no scenes from this fic will serve as counseling, okay? Huhu let us take care everyone.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Uzumaki Naruto is a fine man in his late twenties. His journey of becoming a doctor – or a shrink, if that’s what they call it – goes a long way. His mother, Kushina, although her hair is as red as blood is never a fan of it. <em>Why would you choose to become a doctor? Will you be a surgeon? Good lord, why not Pediatrics? Oh, oh why not a Psychiatrist?</em></p><p>If her mother was still alive and rambling, Naruto would have laughed right now to his heart’s contents. Only if her mother knows that he had seen more <em>blood</em> in this field more than he did during a surgery. And he could not laugh at that fact either. He had schizophrenic patients, depressed ones, suicidal teenagers, policemen struggling with PTSD, a mother in a postpartum and…</p><p>…the ones like Sasuke.</p><p>Actually, Uchiha Sasuke is a lone case.</p><p>Naruto is a man of philosophy. Aside from his stunning looks – that tan skin with a blond hair and a pair of electric blue eyes, Naruto knows how to capture someone else’s attention with only his words. How many lives had he saved with only him talking – <em>and how many lives he couldn’t? </em>But that’s for another story, for another page he would not bother opening. For everyone has secrets to tell and Naruto is one of them.</p><p>But Uchiha Sasuke. Is different. He cannot be swayed by words, and he cannot be swayed by promises either. If Naruto can save a life with his words, Sasuke can definitely kill someone with it. He lived in a world so harsh that Naruto thinks Sasuke only thought he needs saving simply because he is required to.</p><p>Naruto remembered the very first time he became a little bit aggressive with a patient. The patient had bitten him during consultation hours and Naruto had to slap him a little bit. But he never expected to do the same with Sasuke, except this time it wasn’t a hand on a cheek.</p><p>But words on his face. <em>“You’re being difficult.” </em>And Naruto was never this quick to retract them. Not because he does not want to offend. <em>Heck, the guy already looked offended the moment he stepped right in.</em> But because Naruto knows this is a game he needs to play safe. “<em>But it’s not your fault.</em>”</p><p>And it isn’t. It was never Uchiha Sasuke’s fault.</p><p>The guy was born with a gold spoon in his mouth. If someone would have counted, Naruto joked it could be ten. With no other siblings to inherit all the wealth, any woman he married could literally produce a dozens of heirs with none of them working ever in their lifetime and still remains as the wealthiest person in Japan.</p><p>Naruto is no stranger with wealth that carries a responsibility but Sasuke, <em>Uchiha</em> Sasuke is a separate case. They own an empire of business. That being said, the world is on this poor man’s back. He needed to be perfect. He needed to be a fifty-year-old man when he was 16, he needed to think like how a CEO would when he was 17 and now that Sasuke is old enough to marry, he was being a kid.</p><p>“You see, that’s where the problem goes.”</p><p>Naruto blinked. Oh, he forgot. Sasuke, the man who showed up as an Uchiha, but was dressed like an ordinary salary man, is rambling in front of him at ten in the morning. Sasuke came tumbling in his office- words dying on his mouth and his tongue drying in uncontrolled truth.</p><p>“How about we start with your day.” Naruto suggested when Sasuke rolled his sleeves to his elbow and Naruto thought the man looked <em>hot</em> but still, distressed. <em>Christ.</em></p><p>“This bullshit again?” Sasuke muttered in a tone far from how sounded earlier. Naruto thought this time, he sounded a little bit calmer. But still defensive. And he knows he needs to work on that. Sasuke knows why he’s here, why he needs saving, but that doesn’t he mean he’d be willing. If he can force a thousand of people to work above the cut of an average employee, and the Uchihas chose this man right in front of him, then that means he can break Sasuke and spill his contents.</p><p>You know like a delicate china doll.</p><p>But Naruto is not a hammer. He would not do the breaking. So there’s that.</p><p>“Fine, let us not talk about <em>how </em>your day is. But,” Naruto paused, waiting for Sasuke to look at him but the man never did. His hands on his lips and his right leg is resting over his left knee, a bit slouched but still seated like a cold prince that he is.</p><p>“How are you?” He saw Sasuke paused in rubbing his lips with his fingers. “Are you okay?” Naruto whispered but he knows his words has been echoing in that silence.</p><p>Sasuke looked at him but averted his gaze right away. He sighed. He was finally here. He was rushing, mad, screaming in a silent voice as he made his way here but now, he can’t even remember anymore what is he doing here.</p><p>“I’m not.” He answered, although a bit short, it holds a lot. “I-“</p><p>He went back to rubbing his lips with his fingers and suddenly his eyes took purchase on the color of the wall. Those soft orange wallpapers are doing a great job in calming him down.</p><p>Naruto, careful not to stir any more emotions from the man, quietly said, “Look at me.”</p><p>Said man is still not looking and if not, the rubbing continues to be more agitating. So Naruto has to resort to that technique he learned that works best on this guy. He removed his glasses and put it on the small table between them. Sasuke looked at it for a moment before Naruto heard the man sighing. Naruto snickered internally and was glad his technique is working.</p><p>“There.” He said although he cannot see Sasuke properly, Naruto can feel his gaze on him. And Sasuke is trying his best not to look elsewhere. Naruto’s eyes are affecting him more than he thought. <em>Christ, not like this.</em> He still needs to remember why he’s here.</p><p>“So tell me what happened.” Naruto urged. But Sasuke has other words in his mouth.</p><p>“You said you could help me.”</p><p>Naruto raised his eyebrows at the words but answered anyway. “I did.”</p><p>“Then help me.” Sasuke closed his eyes and bit his lips. “Help me to stop.”</p><p>“I will.” And no matter how forbidden the thoughts are, Naruto wonders how would it feel to hold his hands even for once. His heart aches for him. “Tell me why do you want <em>it</em> to stop?”</p><p>“I’m fucking tired.”</p><p>“Of what?” Naruto felt that Sasuke is looking at him while actually seeing nothing. But seconds passed and no one answered his question so Naruto thought he needed to ask again. “What constantly tires you, Sasuke?”</p><p>Pressure. Company. People. My parents. And their expectations. There’s too many in the list that Sasuke did not notice how Naruto called him in his first name.</p><p>“I thought you know?” Sasuke smirked and Naruto knew that the mask is back once again.</p><p>“I do.” Naruto answered curtly. “But I want you to say it out loud.”</p><p>He heard Sasuke laughed. “And the difference it would make, doctor?”</p><p>“You don’t trust me?”</p><p>Sasuke looked at the man in front of him. Here is a stranger who was paid to listen to his problems. The problems that are meant to be kept inside of him so he can be the Uchiha they all expect but god, it backfired. So now they pay people to take this stain out of his white, immaculate suit. But somewhere at the back of Sasuke’s mind says otherwise. That this young, blond doctor with expressive eyes is cut differently from the rest of them. There’s something in this guy that constantly pulls him in.</p><p>“I trust you.” Sasuke acquiesced. But this time not because he does not have a choice. But because this time, he actually acknowledged that he is entitled to acquiesced in his own doing.</p><p>“Then tell me what happened.”</p><p>“Tsk.” Sasuke rubbed his lips again with his fingers.</p><p>“You don’t trust me that much.” To his dismay, Sasuke thought Naruto is failing him. The man made him feel it is okay to stall and be secretive in this clinic as long as he wears the emotions in his sleeves.</p><p>Too irritated and overwhelmed at the same time, he answered, “I put off my whole schedule for you, just so I can be here…” And only if Naruto is aware of himself, Sasuke could see the surprise in his eyes. “…isn’t it enough?”</p><p>Naruto nodded in understanding. “You did that because you were tired, don’t you?”</p><p>Sasuke looked at the eddies forming out of the hot tea served earlier. Something that both of them forgot. “So I am asking you to tell me what’s making you tired.”</p><p>Naruto adjusted in his seat and continued talking. And Sasuke let him.</p><p>“I know it is hard but I need you to tell me.”</p><p>Sasuke sighed, “I don’t know.” Just thinking about it, the list goes on. What difference does it make saying the things they both know. But ironically, no matter how it must have been a joke to say it, Sasuke does not really know what’s making him tired.</p><p>Was it Fugaku’s scolding? Was it Mikoto’s laughter? Was it Itachi’s-</p><p>“I don’t fucking know.”</p><p>And when Sasuke looked at the doctor once again, he noticed the small details he managed to overlook earlier. The doctor was wearing a cardigan once again- in an interesting shade of orange. No gown and no glasses. <em>Perfect.</em></p><p>“How about we try it like this? Hmn?” Sasuke never looked at probably the tenderness present in that face but his attention has been on the blonde the whole time.</p><p>“Sure.”</p><p>“How about you tell me what happened before you came in here?” <em>Before you trash your schedule for me, if Naruto wanted to add.</em></p><p>“I-“Sasuke hesitated as his mind reeled back to what happened in the club. But didn’t stop himself from saying it anyway. Here goes nothing. “I met someone last night.” <em>And he looks like you. </em>“It was orchestrated by my cousin. Nothing against it. We used to do it way before but not as much as nowadays.”</p><p>If Sasuke is capable of detecting a lie from his employee that is because he can make up a good one. Except that this time he is not lying, but he is not telling the entire truth either. The reason they stopped because he cannot be gay. He cannot be open. He cannot be Sasuke. Because he should be an Uchiha.</p><p>“And we don’t fuck like that, son.”</p><p>That was Fugaku. A solid Uchiha.</p><p>But this time, Sasuke ruined the streak. Now in his list, three have been kissed, two have been fucked.</p><p>“I don’t see a problem with that.”</p><p><em>Nice.</em> He knows. Sasuke laughed bitterly. How can he even lie to a doctor of the mind.</p><p>“You said you knew it.” Sasuke nodded. “But you didn’t like it? Is that where the problem coming from? You did not like it simply because it is not of your preference, but because it is not of <em>someone’s </em>preference.”</p><p>Sasuke bit his lip.</p><p>“You should say thanks to your cousin then.”</p><p>“Pardon?” Sasuke thought he heard it wrong but Naruto even had the guts to look at him and smile.</p><p>“You may never like it and it may have ruined what you have promised to never do but that made you lose your mind.” And Sasuke wants Naruto to wipe off that small smile in his face.</p><p>“Isn’t that the reason why you are being paid to fix me? Because I <em>lost my mind?”</em></p><p>“You lost yourself there, Uchiha-san. Because you failed to follow someon’s order. Because you failed to keep up with the system they made for you. You lost yourself last night and you lost yourself earlier.”</p><p> </p><p>“I- I was supposed to meet my father earlier. I am supposed to be in a meeting with him. But I’m here.” Sasuke sounds so lost in Naruto’s ear and how he wished that this time, Sasuke would not be like them- those ones who visit him at night.</p><p>“You’re here because you lost yourself.”</p><p>“And that’s supposed to be a good thing?” Sasuke wondered and Naruto nodded too eager for an answer he’s not supposed to agree.</p><p>“You are too dependent in an order, in a system,” Naruto smiled softly and Sasuke felt like it’s a sin to look at something as beautiful as this man in front of him. “You’re a walking time bomb that in one misstep, you’ll explode. Last week, I was supposed to meet someone but it didn’t happen. And instead I spent my time reading.”<em> Your profile.</em></p><p>Sasuke laughed. “You dare compare your life to mine with a simple scenario like that?”</p><p>“It was my father.” Sasuked stopped his musings. “Who haven’t seen me for 27 years. Glad he remembered he made a life with someone years ago.”</p><p>Sasuke gulped while looking Naruto in the eyes. The other would probably not recognize him staring at him but he’s sure the can feel the way he stares at him. “I was excited. I thought Mondays are worse but that day, when he said he’ll see me. I never looked at Mondays ever before like that. It was overwhelming.”</p><p>Sasuke felt his throat constricts. No matter how much he loathes Fugaku, Sasuke has yet to admit that he cannot imagine himself not having a father, especially one like an <em>Uchiha Fugaku.</em> Even if he abhors this clan, he never prayed to have been born into another in the next of his lifetime. But this man, whose smile is as tendered as a child born in a complete family, is a product of abandonment.</p><p>“But that Monday didn’t come. Neither the next Mondays. And neither did now. It maybe not be a disrupted system, Uchiha-san. But just like you, I never expected my day to turn out like that, like this. I have never seen him personally and yet that day was when the most I feel abandoned.”</p><p>To his surprise- in his uttermost disbelief, Naruto reached forward in his seat. His knees touching the table separating them and Sasuke wished it was never there in the very first place. It felt like Naruto was nearer.</p><p>“So don’t. Don’t avoid.”</p><p>Sasuke nodded. And fixed his slouch but not the sleeves bunching in his elbows.</p><p>“Just lose yourself.”</p><p>Sasuke looked at Naruto lazily, “Why? Did you lose yourself that time also? Do you lose yourself every Mondays?” He didn’t mean it to sound taunting but asking someone to lose themselves when they were built to function in order is not as easy as how this blonde said it.</p><p>“I didn’t lose myself.” Naruto smiled. “But I lost something bigger than that.”</p><p>But that’s for another story. When pages have been turned, that’s when he’ll tell his secrets away.</p><p>“You want me to go to a ride alone. That’s not fun.” Sasuke remarked. The air has been too sullen and heavy. While he admits that it feels therapeutic, he knows he is not ready to drown in this kind of silence. He doesn’t dwell too much on that. Everyday, his life listens to a bunch of noise. That’s his music. When everything went quiet, that’s actually when the tough gets going.</p><p>He stands.</p><p>Time’s up.</p><p>Fugaku lost an hour waiting for him and he wouldn’t add another to that.</p><p>With that, he gathered his belongings and stood but stopped when a hand wrapped around his wrist. <em>Fuck, not like this.</em> His scars burn underneath <em>his </em>fingers.</p><p>“You’re right. You cannot call a joyride fun if you drive alone.”</p><p>Sasuke raised his brows but his mind keeps working.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“So do it with me. Lose yourself with me.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke smirked. His life is filled with adrenaline. This doctor must be ready for it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You sure, doctor?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Did I stutter?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And Sasuke, from the moment he woke up today, had billowed a laugh so carefree.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Four</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Idk if this is needed but I will still put it up: TRIGGER WARNING (AND SPOILER) for those who do not want to read anything about death, please stop that when you reached the part of Naruto coming home after dinner with Hidan.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They met last week for a dinner and now they are meeting again a week after due to Naruto’s insistence. Lately, thrice a week dinner together has been reduced to one or sometimes none at all. Eventually, his boyfriend agreed to a Monday dinner schedule.</p><p>Hidan was supposed to be in their favorite restaurant at eight in the evening.</p><p>Naruto predicted that Hidan would be late. <em>As Always.</em></p><p>But this time, he thought something not good is bound to happen. Although he expects the tardiness for the uncountable time, still, Naruto thinks that there is something unsettling bubbling at the pit of his stomach.</p><p>At the second mocha latte he had, Naruto started laughing at himself. If someone would take a look at him, it was obvious at the scrunch of his nose, at the twinkling mirth in his eyes and the shakiness of his shoulders that would give away the laugh.</p><p>But Naruto sat at the most corner of the restaurant, an area secluded from the bustling customers. It as if he is embarrassed to be waiting for someone for forty-five minutes.</p><p>They said that Psychiatry is empirical, that Psychology is more than reading one’s mind. But Naruto disagrees. No matter how scientific it could get, one has to agree that without that instinctual greatness, nothing would be the way it is. That beyond that pedagogy, it is instincts that defined its prominence.</p><p>That is why when his guts told him that Hidan is a walking threat, his heart just kept nursing that wine. Making him drunk. Making him inebriated. Making him intoxicated and incapable of thinking.</p><p>
  <em>You are a fucking Psychiatrist, Naruto. You cannot see someone as a threat simply because their hair was slicked back like he’s some Hollywood celebrity. Not even the cigarette in his hand could deter you like that.</em>
</p><p>And god, Naruto hates cigarettes so much.</p><p>But here he was, gifting Hidan a box of expensive cigarette he bought in Nicaragua during his vacation.</p><p>Soon the hairs around his neck rose. As if it’s telling him to stop thinking things because his devil of a boyfriend is making his way to their seats.</p><p>“Yo babe, sorry there was a heavy traffic today.”</p><p>Naruto narrowed his eyes at the endearment. Hidan never calls him like that. It was always blondie, or anything that has “sweet” in it or sometimes, pumpkin. <em>You’re always wearing awful orange combinations, it is just right to call you pumpkin. Right, blondie?”</em></p><p>
  <em>“Orange is NOT awful!” Naruto gritted. </em>
</p><p>Naruto questioned himself why did he even love someone who thinks that he’s wearing something awful. Naruto asked himself why did he even had the mind to overlook his boyfriend’s crass words? Was it because he knew all of his secrets? Was it because Hidan understands him so much even with the lack of comforting words, with the ungentle nights and his lateness like this?</p><p>“God, I’m so stupid.” Naruto muttered louder than he thought. But that caught Hidan’s attention who was busy looking at the menu while enumerating his excuses for the night.</p><p>“What?” His eyebrows drawn together while a sinister smile was painted on his lips. Before, Naruto finds that bad-ass smirk as something alluring and strong but this time, he really finds it smug. It is as if he is asking to be punched.</p><p>“You don’t bring your car home on Mondays, Hidan.” Naruto tried so hard not to avert his eyes. He knows the reason why Hidan can always get away from his insensitive actions is because Naruto can’t look him in the eye during an argument. It gives Hidan a feeling of superiority, that he can manipulate Naruto like that.</p><p>Naruto is aware of it. <em>Christ,</em> he is a Psychiatrist for fuck’s sake.</p><p>This relationship is becoming dangerous, isn’t it?</p><p>“I- babe-“ Wait. It has never been a <em>babe</em> for Hidan. Something is really wrong and Naruto will find it out. Tonight.</p><p>“Funny.” Naruto sipped his mocha latter once again. Suddenly, he felt like there is a sandpaper stuck in his throat. “A police officer stuttering on a Monday night, tough day?”</p><p>“Are you making fun of me, sweetcakes?”</p><p>“Are you making fun of me?” Naruto repeated. And that look Hidan gave convinced Naruto that this night will be different from the other nights. He could discover something. “Hidan, you don’t bring your car home on Mondays because of traffic rush. I chose this place because one, this is our favorite and this one’s closer to your apartment and I. Unless you become an idiot like me that you drove here with your car and park it back to the precinct when the apartment is closer.”</p><p>“You’re thinking too much for a simple late, babe.”</p><p>Naruto wasn’t able to answer as Hidan chose to call the waiter.</p><p>But Naruto felt the need to push his words out so his boyfriend can take this matter seriously.</p><p>“You were late for forty-five minutes, of course I would- “</p><p>Raising his hand, Hidan signaled for attention. And that was when Naruto finally saw it. A reddish mark near the collarbone of Hidan. It looked tender and painful and <em>intimate. </em>Naruto has to double-take with what he saw. <em>No way.</em> His mind has been racing and horrible thoughts started swarming that Naruto has to equally hold his neck as if the mark was burned onto him and not on Hidan’s.</p><p>“Thank you for taking care of my little fox here. But I think he’s had enough of his mocha latte. So can we get some wine please? Your all-star, blockbuster in the house.”</p><p>
  <em>No way. God, Mondays really suck. He can’t be imaging this! </em>
</p><p>But he can’t shake off the thought that someone placed a mark on what he’s mine. But something inside of him kept whispering the same things he left buried in his mind. The scarce calls, the <em>I’m busy, can we rain check?, </em>the long minutes of waiting for his call to be picked up but only for it to last a second. Naruto cannot bury these any more. Not when there is a red mark screaming happily in front of him.</p><p>“And, I heard you are serving a special ramen-“</p><p>Averting his eyes on the offending sight, Naruto spoke.</p><p>“I appreciate it but thanks.” His voice quivering in unmasked realization. He can feel the stinging behind his eyes and he prays so hard he will not cry in here.</p><p>The waiter looked at Naruto’s quick gathering of his bag and the small box wrapped in a beautiful orange ribbon, containing his gift to Hidan. Unsure of what to do, the waiter opted to look at the man casually sitting.</p><p>“Sir?”</p><p>“Drink that all by yourself.”</p><p>“Sweetcakes-“</p><p>“Shut it Hidan.”</p><p>Naruto made his way to the exit while Hidan is quick to gather his own belongings but not even sparing a glance to the stunned waiter.</p><p>“Naruto!” Hidan shouted once Naruto reached his car, grabbing one of his arms in the process.</p><p>“Do not touch me Hidan.”</p><p>“Babe, seriously?” Hidan left his arm hanging and Naruto for once since two years ago didn’t miss the warmth it gave. “You are getting mad because I was late? Fine forty-five minutes-“</p><p>Naruto stopped hearing Hidan’s excuses and opened his mouth, expressing his disbelief. A pillow of smoke formed in between of them and for a moment Naruto remembered the box he was supposed to gift Hidan.</p><p>He thrusted the box to Hidan and stared at him in disbelief, “Hidan, you seriously think I am upset over your lateness?”</p><p>Naruto’s hand is really itching to punch him because for a second, Hidan looked confused. <em>Oh god, Naruto really hoped he is really imagining some things but the bright red spot is casually exposed for him to see. And now that he stood closer to his boyfriend, god forbid those teeth marks around it. </em></p><p>Suddenly, he only sees red.</p><p>“You’re a pathetic liar, don’t you know that?!”</p><p>Naruto saw the muscles around the jaw of Hidan working in a worrying manner. Apparently, the guy knows when to take things seriously. Naruto can count in his one hand how many times he got angry at his boyfriend, but this was the very first time his voice rose like this.</p><p>“You lied to me with your car and with your pathetic excuse-“</p><p>“It’s traffic! Goddamnit!” Hidan equally shouted.</p><p>“Then why were you sweating in there? Didn’t you say you bring your car with you?” Naruto’s throat hurt. It was snowing in the mountains so the wind in Tokyo has gotten colder more than what he can manage.</p><p>“Christ, I-it was hot in the restaurant, okay!”</p><p>“You were sweating even before your entered. It’s November, Hidan for fuck’s sake!”</p><p>Their voices shouting at each other stood in stark contrast with the quietness of the night. Naruto is tired from his work and he’s hungry having been waiting for his boyfriend for almost an hour.</p><p>Hidan heaved and tuck the box in his hands under his armpit and opened his hands as if he’s inviting Naruto for a hug. Hidan always does that in reconciliation whenever they had an argument.</p><p>Naruto approached, finality in his eyes.</p><p>He pulled the collar obstructing the offending view earlier and pressed the spot hard. It disgusts Naruto that he needs to touch the same skin someone else’s kissed.</p><p>Hidan hissed, hand quick to cover up the bruise. “What’s this? A bruise? I didn’t know I have this.”</p><p>Naruto laughed frustratedly and Hidan’s quick to calm the doubt swirling in Naruto’s eyes. “It’s the perps’ fault. He gripped me and suddenly he was biting me.”</p><p>“Hidan, I’m a doctor! Do you really think I do not know anything about bruises?”</p><p>“Look, you don’t understand.” Hidan must have known that Naruto is nowhere an idiot just like how he thought him to be and finally resigned to the truth.</p><p>“Then make me! Make me understand why was I enough?”</p><p>“Christ-“</p><p>“You know what, nevermind.” Naruto opened the door of his car and went inside. Hidan stood there at the side, banging on his windows and explaining. He opened his phone and sent his final words to him.</p><p>Naruto does not need to hear a reply. He can piece everything together.</p><p>Does he really need to hear that Hidan fucks some guy or woman while he spreads the word that he likes Naruto’s afterglow? When all the lights were open as he smokes?</p><p>Naruto sped his car away. He’s had enough.</p><p>And from the side-view mirror, he can see Hidan opening the text he had sent.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Sleep with your babe tonight. And for the next night and the nights after.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Naruto thought that this night will be different from the other nights.</p><p>He discovered something.</p><p>And tonight, he ended it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p>Naruto woke up coughing.</p><p>When he arrived home, he realized that he left his plants outside. He immediately took them back in and decided that he is not in the mood to eat dinner. His stomach has been screaming to get fed but Naruto does not have the heart to eat.</p><p>He spent some time in the sofa but only to fall asleep several minutes later.</p><p>Now, he was suddenly woken up by a gripping coldness enveloping his apartment. It turns out, he left his patio doors open and his heater off. That’s the reason why he’s coughing his lungs out.</p><p>Aside from the freezing temperature, Naruto finally noticed that none of his lights are on. The light coming from the lamp post which tread through the curtains of his open patio doors served as his only source of light.</p><p>Upon realizing that, panic settles in Naruto. With limited vision, he tried to locate the lamp that was given by Hidan.</p><p>“Shit.”</p><p>A shadow behind his back caught his attention and Naruto scrambled like a kid caught eating a piece of candy. He trashed his things and start making his way in the darkness.</p><p>“Where is that lamp?” It was broken a week ago but Naruto managed to make it work back again for three days now. When he saw that cream colored lamp, which was tucked away in a corner, his memories of the earlier hours crept back to his mind once again.</p><p>He switched on the lamp… one… two…three… no light came out. “Come on, please.”</p><p>Naruto sobbed. Mondays are really the worst. Except that it has been the wee hours in the morning of Tuesday and he’s supposedly recovering from that awful break-up but why does it seem that the universe is adamant in making him feel miserable and abandoned.</p><p>“You can’t leave me now, please. Not when-“A sob escaped from his mouth when a child sat beside him.</p><p>Naruto closed his eyes and put his hands around his ears.</p><p>They are here.</p><p>They finally found him once again.</p><p>There was a man sitting in his sofa staring back at him.</p><p>Naruto pulled back his knees and buried his head in it. His hands are still on the both sides of his ear and his eyes are shut tightly. But Naruto can still see them… <em>can still feel them.</em></p><p>“Please… I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”</p><p>It was never his fault but he says sorry anyway.</p><p> </p><p>They were his patients. Just like Sasuke, a lot of people had needed his saving but only a handful of them survived.</p><p> </p><p>“Please… I’m sorry. It was my fault.”</p><p> </p><p>There was a woman who died from her PTSD, wrap a rope around her neck and decided to decorate her house with a mess and a scream of her husband.</p><p>There was a soldier who was suffering from a war shock who was mistaken as a robber and was shot. Survived. But he committed suicide.</p><p>There was a young girl who was raped by her uncle, a guy who was left by her girlfriend and after that, Naruto lost count.</p><p>He cannot save all.</p><p>He’s just 27.</p><p>He’s not God.</p><p>He’s just Naruto. Lonely and abandoned too.</p><p> </p><p>Naruto wonders when can he find peace on Mondays.</p><p>But must he felt concerned for his Tuesdays too?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>*</p><p>
  <em>Lose yourself with me. </em>
</p><p>The line never left Sasuke for a week.</p><p>He meets the blonde doctor every Monday every week but realized that Mondays would be too hectic for him. Also, he’s not keen on having mind games at the first day of the week. So he moved it to a Tuesday fix.</p><p>“Yo cous’ sorry ‘bout that.”</p><p>Obito appeared in his doorway, a paper in his hand. After Sasuke’s earful remark on why Obito should stop doing finding Sasuke his “release person” – just like how Obito likes to say it- the other never stopped apologizing to him even with the most basic reasons.</p><p>“But Sasuke, my man, you should learn to actually pick this schedule by yourself when your secretary is nowhere to be found. Where is she by the way? Fired?”</p><p>“Obito,” Sasuke started. “I just asked you get it from her for me-“</p><p>“And because?”</p><p>“I want to?”</p><p>“Great. You’re in the mood to disgruntle me.”</p><p>“What’s this?”</p><p>“Your schedule.” Obito began examining his fingernails painted in black. No matter how many times Sasuke told him it disgusts him, Obito paid no heed and still paints his nails black. “Obviously. Duh. You gone mad?”</p><p>“I mean what happened to my 1 pm schedule? I didn’t cancel my schedule with the shrink.”</p><p>Obito finally stopped nursing his nails and looked Sasuke in the eye. “Oh, the shrink is sick, poor guy.”</p><p>Sasuke raised his eyebrow, looking amused, and was silent for a second, “So they get sick huh.”</p><p>“Apperently.” Obito picked up a stack of papers from one of the shelves and spread it on the coffee table nearby. He heard Sasuke “tsk-ed”. “You know I will put them back right?”</p><p>“You don’t even need to do that when you did not ruin its order in the very first place.”</p><p>“Geez, loosen up will ya? I have two hands with ten fingers with very fine motor skills,” Obit made a scissoring gestures in the air with his two fingers that made Sasuke grimaced and Obito smiled like the maniac that he is.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Lose yourself with me. </em>
</p><p>There it goes. Those words again. Is he that much of a boring, rigid guy? He thought that the on point order of things is what making him sleep at night.</p><p>
  <em>“…then why are you getting rid of yourself?”</em>
</p><p>Shit. That voice again. Sasuke sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose while he closed his eyes. He remembered the questioning look Fugaku gave him when he arrived late at work last week but didn’t comment when he mentioned that he went to the shrink first thing in the morning.</p><p>Suddenly, he craved having the presence of the blond doctor near him.</p><p>“How sick?”</p><p>“I don’t know, they didn’t tell.” Obito supplied. “And you’re worried?”</p><p>“Of my money.” Sasuke answered immediately. Obito has the habit of understanding things too much. “I already paid several sessions in advance and I want to know what would be the arrangement in such cases.”</p><p>Sasuke does not speak much but not when finance is the matter at hand.</p><p>“You’re worried?” Obito joked to dig deeper.</p><p>“Do I look like-“ Sasuke replied too soon, ready to pounce on Obito.</p><p>“Geez, cous’ chill. But yeah, the clinic called that he’s sick and informed us that they can move your appointment to your time of convenience.”</p><p>“I see.”</p><p>Sasuke is back to typing in his laptop but Obito is not budging from where he’s seated in front of Sasuke. Minutes had passed but the former has no intention of getting out from his room.</p><p>“Spill it before I ask the guards to drag you out.”</p><p>Obito dramatically sighed as Sasuke addressed him without actually looking.</p><p>“I don’t know, maybe you can say something.” Obito surveyed his nails, put his hand up in the air and blew on it. As if he’s in the nail salon and no important meetings and documents to think of.</p><p>“Obito..”</p><p>“Fine, geez this schmuck-“ A newspaper was thrown to his direction.</p><p>“Ayt ayt man, I’m just thinking maybe we can grab a coffee with that gap that you have now…”</p><p>“Hn.”</p><p>“And it’s your shout.”</p><p>“Hn.”</p><p>“And the blonde doctor is really hot.”</p><p>“Hn-“ And Sasuke looked sharply at Obito. But the other guy wasn’t able to answer when a woman suddenly barged inside.</p><p>Only one person can do enter like that in Sasuke’s office. Not even Obito can come in without knocking.</p><p>“Who’s hot?”</p><p>A fluff of pink hair came into their sight, heels in stilettos and jewelries matching the color of her eyes. Another woman of elegance, rich with so much amour and yet whom Sasuke greatly despises – Haruno Sakura.</p><p>“Sasuke.”</p><p>“Of course,” Sakura answered. “My <em>man</em>.” She added with a sneer. As if to say it is a sin.</p><p>“And me. <em>Of course</em>.” Obito added. “In this room, there’s two. Nothing less. Nothing more.”</p><p>“Leave.” Sakura answered and Obito gave him the same sneer she gave earlier.</p><p>“Yes, bitch. Bye Sasuke. I heard a Haruno can kill a gay with a shoe.”</p><p>“Why, who’s gay?” Sakura isn’t backing down even with the third most powerful person in this company. She will be married to the second anyway. She maybe filthy rich, but a woman can take a joke too.</p><p>“You wouldn’t want to know.” And Obito winked as he closed the door with a bang.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>The lunch that was supposed to be with Obito isn’t happening anytime soon.</p><p>Sasuke never thought that he would actually prefer dining with his cousin than his future wife. Just the thought of that makes him lose his appetite.</p><p>The weather was cold. He fixed the lapel of his jacket so that it could hug him closer.</p><p>“Let’s make this quick.” Sasuke broke the awkward silence first, not wanting to be subjected to another torturous hour. Truthfully speaking, he’d rather skip eating than dating this Sakura.</p><p>“Nope, I have time. Let’s make this fun.”</p><p>“I don’t have time.” Sasuke looked ahead and bored.</p><p>“We only see each other several times a month, you could at least pretend that you’re excited to see me.”</p><p>“Hn.” His answers are clipped and that shut Sakura up.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p>It was only barely fifteen minutes since they managed to snag a place in the corner of the café. Since it was getting cold, the two decided to drink something warm.</p><p>“Tell me, why are we doing this?” Sakura spoke but with the uncanny amusement in her tone.</p><p>“It is in my schedule to meet you. Next time let’s be specific about it.”</p><p>“So if I am not in your schedule, you wouldn’t meet me then?” Sakura inquired, a green tea in her hand.</p><p>“I won’t.”</p><p>“Likewise.”</p><p>Sasuke smiled through his eyes but not obvious enough for Sakura to see. He has just heard a lie only a fool would believe.</p><p>Haruno Sakura, no matter how much she knows how troublesome to be wed with Sasuke, still chases that dream to become an Uchiha. Not because Sasuke has tons of money, but Sakura sees herself as a heroine that can save Sasuke from his darkness. All her life, she was seen as the heiress and … nothing more. She is bright but so is everyone in her family. She has nothing to boast that could get someone’s attention.</p><p>That is why when that one time she was spotted with an Uchiha Sasuke who rarely smiles in pictures and she was there who happen to stand in the background in the rarest instance that Sasuke was smiling, she instantly claimed to be the reason behind it.</p><p>A shrill sound of a ringing phone broke the tension between them.</p><p>Sasuke fished out his phone nonchalantly. Until he saw the number he had saved a couple of weeks ago.</p><p>[Hello.] The voice sounds familiar but at the same time sounds so foreign.</p><p>“Uchiha Sasuke.” Sasuke introduced.</p><p>[Ah yes, Uchiha-san, this is Doctor Naruto from Konoha Clinic-]</p><p>“Yes?” Sasuke inquired unconsciously a little bit quickly than he should be.</p><p>[I know we already cancelled our schedule for today but my secretary mistook the cancellation for everyone but actually I am only cancelling the morning session, so if you like, would you mind moving the 1pm schedule to 2pm?]</p><p><em>I thought you were sick? </em>Sasuke has been meaning to ask but immediately stopped himself. “Alright. I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”</p><p>He could actually decline the offer and have it doubled for the next meeting but he’d rather be somewhere else than be here with Sakura.</p><p>[Oh, alright. See you later!] The blonde doctor chirped from the other line.</p><p>“Hn.”</p><p> </p><p>“Who’s that?” Sakura asked while being confused as to why Sasuke seems to be leaving.</p><p>“None of your concern.”</p><p>“Where are we going?” She gathered her stuff and followed Sasuke outside. She cursed when Sasuke is starting his car without waiting for her.</p><p>“I’m going back to the office. I don’t know about you.” Sasuke put on his sunglasses and rolled the window up of his car leaving Sakura to her own devices.</p><p>“You piece of-“</p><p>“Bye Haruno,” Sasuke smirked. Sometimes, being a heartless person can put him in a leverage.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure you’re ready to be working like this?” Naruto leaned on the hand who’s combing his hair like as if he’s a small kid. It was Karin, his cousin who sounds so brute when there’s only the two of them but is actually the second most caring person for Naruto, right after her mother of course.</p><p>“I’m fine, Karin. Just some headache.” He informed.</p><p>“Headache? You’re burning up!”</p><p>“Be quiet will you?” Naruto put his eyeglasses on and adjusted the heater in his room.</p><p>“Your patient is going to sweat, Naruto!” Karin chided but immediately adjusted the setting for Naruto’s convenience.</p><p>“If you love me that much then make me a cup of lemon tea, please?”</p><p>Karin is right about to answer when a knock was heard. She was supposed to be greeting the patients outside but immediately followed Naruto inside his office at the moment she him in that state.</p><p>“Good afternoon, Uchiha-san.” Karin greeted with a bow to which Sasuke returned with a light nod.</p><p>Soon his eyes took purchased of Naruto’s sunken ones.</p><p>“Hi.” Naruto grinned. “It is nice to see you again here, Uchiha-san. Have a seat.”</p><p>Sasuke complied but never did once his eyes left the current state of the doctor. He knows the other guy can feel him staring but it’s not everyday that you see a doctor who looks sicker than you.</p><p>“How about we start with your day, Uchiha-san.” Naruto smiled and Sasuke felt like an idiot. He can’t be smiling back at someone who looks miserable although he remembered doing the same to Sakura earlier.</p><p>“No.” Naruto seemed less surprise hearing the reply but allowed Sasuke to continue. “How about we start with what happened to you? You look like shit.”</p><p>This time, Sasuke was blessed to hear him laugh. “Wow. Thank you.” But soon the laugh was replaced by a cough and he has to control his self from reaching out.</p><p>“It’s just the change of the weather caught me by surprise. Is all.” Naruto quipped, eyes smiling, but lips remained shut tight.</p><p>“You’re tired.” Sasuke blurt out his comment. A little too forward and <em>friendly</em>, if one would say it. “I don’t think we should do this.”</p><p>Naruto looked worried for a second that Sasuke would suddenly stand up and eventually leave just like how he always did in the past sessions. Not that he did not gain anything from it but Sasuke has a habit of leaving on his own instead of waiting for someone. But to his surprise, the businessman remained in his seat even after he expressed his want to end the session.</p><p>“Look, how about we talk for a couple of minutes and you can decide to leave after that.”</p><p>“Something’s up?” Sasuke asked as he fixes the collar of his polo. It feels a little bit warmer today but soon realized that maybe the doctor had upped the temperature inside.</p><p>“Nothing really. You are right. I am tired. But that’s because of the change in weather.”</p><p>Naruto caught his gaze and looked down but quickly looked back again and smiled.</p><p>“You’re surprisingly considerate today.” The doctor whispered and Sasuke has to bite the inside of his cheeks to stop himself from reaching his hand to one of those tanned cheeks.</p><p>But pulled his self back together instead.</p><p>“I just don’t want to waste my fees. I paid for it.” Sasuke answered curtly and averted his gaze elsewhere. He added, “I paid for you to fix not the other way around, doctor.”</p><p>“Alright.” Naruto answered with a small cheer in his voice. “That’s why I need you here. Don’t run away.”</p><p>Sasuke shifted his gaze back to the doctor who was already in the process of removing his eyeglass. He began wondering how someone can push themselves to work even at the brink of collapsing. Sure he rides the same boat sometimes but Sasuke never let himself end up like that in the very first place.</p><p>He doesn’t get physically sick no matter how sick he is in the head actually.</p><p>He contemplated on the thought- on how something as trivial like this can get him thinking. Only his doctor had made him do that.</p><p>“Don’t run away huh,” Naruto nodded upon hearing that. “I’m right here doctor.”</p><p>He smirked as a challenge and that caused his doctor to grin with his teeth and his eyes closed like a kid smiling for a photo op with santa.</p><p>
  <em>God, how can a person looks so bleak and happy at the same time?</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Two eyes locked in each other, silently understanding each other’s pain.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Suddenly, Karin came in carrying a tray with two cups of hot lemon tea and tablets.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Sorry about that. I can’t knock but I’ll leave this very quick.”</p><p> </p><p>Karin left and Naruto stood up to serve Sasuke his tea but as soon as he got up, his vision began swirling and his knees gave up. Abruptly, Sasuke held Naruto in the waist who unconsciously snake his arms around Sasuke’s shoulders.</p><p>“Christ, are you okay?” Sasuke saw the two tablet for fever on the tray causing him to feel the doctor’s forehead.</p><p>The doctor laughed nervously before speaking, “You are right. I can’t do this.”</p><p>“You’re burning up.”</p><p>“I know now.” Naruto snickered.</p><p>Carefully, Sasuke assisted Naruto to his seat and open the tablets for him. Surprise colors the doctor’s face but quickly hide it by getting the tablet from Sasuke’s hand and drinking it.</p><p>“I’ll bring you to the hospital.”</p><p>Naruto shook his head at the offer and grimaced at the prospect of it. “I’ll just go home.”</p><p>For a moment, everything is quiet. And Naruto cannot be anymore embarrassed at being seen close to collapsing by his patient. He contemplates between seeing Sasuke out or letting him watch his slow movements as he fixes his things.</p><p>Naruto then decided to properly end their session and discuss the arrangement of their new session. Of all his clients, why does the disaster need to be with a multi-billionaire. But Sasuke beat him into speaking.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll bring you home.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Naruto looked slowly to where Sasuke has been seated. A vast difference to how the other man was so adamant in leaving his clinic in the prior sessions. Still a little bit dazed from the medicine that is slowly kicking in, Naruto cannot help but to listen to the voice inside his head.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Would you, Uchiha-san?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The sound of the engines lulling him to sleep and Naruto forced his mind to imprint the tiny genuine smile he saw on Sasuke's face since the very first time the moment he stepped in his clinic.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yes.” Sasuke whispered when Naruto asked him if he would really bring him home.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>OMG thank you so much for the feedbacks and the kudos! These remarks actually gave me an idea if I am going a little too  fast or disoriented with the flow of the story HAHA. Please please do not hesitate to drop your feedbacks for the improvement of this fic and also so that I can be more motivated to update. See ya guys in the next chapter^^</p><p>PS: this is unbeta'd hihi~</p><p>-Polin</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Five</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sasuke thought he fucked up so bad eleven years ago the first time a guy kissed him squarely on the lips.</p><p>But now looking at the doctor sleeping soundlessly beside him, in his car, in his <em>own</em> <em>damn </em>car. He never thought to be more fucked up than ever.</p><p>Sasuke fought so hard not to take a look at the doctor beside him but he cannot help himself when the perfume of the guy keeps wafting around the small space they are both confined in. If his nose is not betraying him, Sasuke thought the doctor smells like a summer ocean breeze. It goes so well with his tan skin, his baby blues and his golden hair. Sasuke never thought that he’s getting attracted but he never denies a compliment to a beauty when he sees one. The doctor does not dress to impress but he matches everything so well. Sasuke never sees himself lucky but he’ll call himself one today, and the days before, every time the doctor takes off his eyeglasses and his white coat.</p><p>If Obito was here, he’d call Sasuke pathetic.</p><p>Sasuke noted the luxurious apartment the doctor was living. He wonders if he came from a wealthy family. Sure his father will only look for a high-caliber professionals and expects no less from them. It shouldn’t surprise him at all. Uzumaki Naruto- young and loaded. Hired by the Uchihas. Nothing surprising. But it takes Sasuke in. These pieces of information tingle inside his head and he cannot help but to wonder, and <em>wander.</em></p><p>As he’s standing in front of a fancy looking doors and before the doctor could protest, Sasuke held <em>his</em> bag in his arms.</p><p>“I appreciate it Uchiha-san but I can still carry-”</p><p>Sasuke cut him short. “You wobble. It helps my conscience if you wobble without a bag.”</p><p>Naruto tried to suppress his laugh and that made Sasuke clear his throat.</p><p>“Now, lead the way.” The doctor looked mildly surprised but Sasuke is not going to elaborate that <em>yes</em> he will accompany the doctor until he’s safe enough in his own wobbly feet.</p><p>As the two slowly approach the elevator, just thinking about it, Sasuke sighed at the impending awkwardness. Although he is the one who makes things awkward and does not really care if an employee scrambles to look anywhere but to his line of sight, this one specific ride sets him at the edge. Would he strike a conversation? What if the doctor collapsed once again? Would the doctor strike a conversation?</p><p>Sasuke gripped the straps of the other’s bag tightly.</p><p> </p><p>But he does not need to worry about that as Naruto started talking although a bit sounding hoarse.</p><p>“Ah I really hate fall and winter,” Naruto sniffed. “I prefer summers.”</p><p>Silence befall and Sasuke cannot look anywhere. The elevator has reflective doors and Sasuke can outline the doctor’s expressions and actions from the reflection which means that if Naruto would focus his sight, he could see Sasuke’s form who was standing behind him albeit on the other side.</p><p>But he answered anyway, “Hn.”</p><p>Both have to agree that indeed, the weather is getting chilly. But only one will agree to bask in such coldness. Sasuke, if someone dares to ask, will say in no doubt that he likes winter more than anything else. Though it barely snows in Tokyo, Sasuke felt much relief at the prospect of it.</p><p>But Naruto didn’t ask. So Sasuke maintained his silence.</p><p>The doors opened and Sasuke almost moved a little bit fast to catch the doctor who falls short with his step but regained it immediately. He was just glad that the other was walking ahead of him. He just does not understand why it pains him so much to extend a little bit of sympathy to the doctor. It as if even standing here right now is a mistake.</p><p>When they arrived inside, Sasuke noted the time to be a little past three in the afternoon.</p><p>He was supposed to be spending his 1pm in the shrink’s office. Go back at 2, then attend a meeting at 3 then work until heaven knows. But now, his schedule is a complete mess. He wasn’t even supposed to meet Sakura today, actually she never really made it clear when they should accomplish their date as she only mentioned it needing to be done once a month.</p><p>Those were one of the things he hates- to not be able to know what to do next and to set things to randomly happen.</p><p>Now, his schedule is completely ruined.</p><p>And it seems like it was on cue, or rather the doctor must have read him so well that Naruto immediately spoke about it, “Sorry about this.”</p><p>And with that, the doctor bent down to get his bag from Sasuke who did not offer it back to the doctor. Their fingers brushed and Sasuke could still feel the warmth of his fever. If it does make any sense.</p><p>“Don’t worry about it.” Sasuke said. “Get some sleep.”</p><p>“I’ll try.” The doctor answered whose hand is already at the knob.</p><p>Sasuke gulped. He does not know how to say good bye.</p><p>But just not to make things more awkward from his side, he nodded and pivoted to the direction of the elevators. He’ll be going back to the office to save his day, to save his schedule.</p><p>But before he could even take two steps, a hand shot to his elbow.</p><p>And Sasuke has to bite the inside of his cheek.</p><p>Naruto, seeing the older man walking away, had realized what it meant for him.</p><p>And that means that night will come and he’ll have uninvited visitors once again.</p><p>They’ll be staring at him, whispering words he cannot understand.</p><p>Or they could be laughing, or crying, or wailing or just screaming in silence beside him.</p><p>And tonight, he wants nothing of that.</p><p>“Wait, Uchiha-san.”</p><p>Sasuke thought he was mistaken but the hand on his elbow had made its presence known a little bit stronger.</p><p>Naruto knows he’s making a mistake. But he has no other way around.</p><p>“I know you’ll say no but I will-” Naruto paused so Sasuke whirled back and faced the doctor whose eyes are filled with unfathomable emotions right now. “I- can you-”</p><p>“What is it?”</p><p>“Could you do me another favor?”</p><p>Sasuke raised his brows, eyes burning in question and his hand itching to cover the one holding his elbow.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Will you stay?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The doctor’s house looks like an extension of his clinic. The walls are lined with soft orange papers, there are plants in some corners, there is a TV in the other side and situated opposite from it is a sofa that looks luxuriously comfortable.</p><p>There’s a small lamp at the side and Sasuke noted how it looked out of place. It is not really that small now that he has taken a look of it but its size definitely does not match the space the living room has to offer.</p><p>But he shrugged it off. Nothing to be of his concern, he figured out.</p><p>He was asked to sit anywhere but he took his seat one next to the window. It is an orange accent chair so it looks quite extravagant compared to the black sofa next to it.</p><p>The doctor was sleeping on the sofa. And Sasuke wonders what the hell is he going to do right now.</p><p>He does not want to look like a creep watching someone else sleep. So he turned his eyes to the large windows that remained close. When he was sure that he might be falling asleep soon if he does not move his muscles a bit, a sound was heard from where the doctor was supposedly sleeping.</p><p>He watched him stand up and it prompted Sasuke to speak, “I’ll get what you need.”</p><p>Naruto looked stunned for a second, as if he completely forgot that he asked the businessman to stay. He cleared his throat before answering, “my plants.”</p><p>“Your plants?” Sasuke looked mildly surprised at that.</p><p>“Yeah.” Naruto laughed a little bit and scratched the back of his head.</p><p>Without hearing any answer, Naruto thought he needs to explain some things a little bit. “I take them inside once I got home. I feel like they would feel cold outside.”</p><p>If Naruto has the energy to laugh his heart out, he would definitely be rolling on the floor. The other man looked at him with a calculating gaze but not before morphing into an accusatory one.</p><p>“The evergreen and the moth orchids will not die overnight, actually the orchids can rebloom-”</p><p>Sasuke was not able to finish his words because Naruto had taken the responsibility to look overjoyed at the simple comment. “You like plants, too?” This time, Naruto chose to sit back down.</p><p>And Sasuke mimicked him.</p><p>“I don’t. But I read about them.”</p><p>That’s true. Except that he learned most of it from Mikoto. She has a habit of sharing all her plant knowledge to Sasuke who never even grow a plant once in his life.</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>Silence enveloped the two of them again once again before the doctor decided to disturb it with his concerns.</p><p>“So how are you feeling Uchiha-san?”</p><p>Sasuke looked at the man who was paid to fix him. And he never thought he’ll see him like this. If the doctor was his employee, the other might not survive another day. If he was a client, he’ll never see a fruition to any of his proposals.</p><p>But look at the two of them right now.</p><p>Look at him right now.</p><p>“Just the usual.” He studied the doctor who was sitting with his blanket draped around his body. “Nothing different.”</p><p>But he feels different. He feels un<em>Sasuke.</em></p><p>Today, with the afternoon sun glowing at his back and its glow bouncing at the face of the man before him, Sasuke felt like an alien to a world he’s not ready to barge in.</p><p>“And that means?”</p><p>“Just the same feeling I had.”</p><p>Sasuke saw how the doctor’s throat worked to ease a word out. And to his surprise, it itches him to make this conversation difficult. So he continued talking before the doctor could reply.</p><p>“Feels like escaping.”</p><p>If Sasuke chose to look ahead, he would see the astonishment written in the doctor’s face. This has been the most honest answer he’s given in his life. He bit his lips and his eyes found solace at the lamp that he saw earlier. Unconsciously, his hand found his mouth and his forefinger started rubbing his lips. A habit he cannot easily stop.</p><p>“Like going to a place where nobody can find you?”</p><p>“Yes.” His answer a bit curt. But that’s every truth he has to offer.</p><p>“But at the same time, you want to be seen and scream at anyone’s faces all that you feel?”</p><p>Sasuke looked at the doctor with the intensity that matches his answer.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Why didn’t you?” Naruto inquired.</p><p>“You know why I can’t, doctor.” Sasuke saw how Naruto frowned at that and he wonders if he had said something wrong. To appease whatever it was, Sasuke continued, “Or maybe because I am not allowed to.”</p><p> </p><p>“But have you tried?”</p><p>“You know I have,” Sasuke then rubbed his lips again and he swears to God he’ll be needing more than a lip balm to soothe his dry and chapped lips.</p><p>Sasuke may be imagining things. But suddenly, the world seems muted. He cannot hear the faint sounds of the vehicles below, the silent gush of the wind against the window because all he can focus are the painful flashbacks in his head.</p><p>“Three times. I tried three times.” At first it was a bottle of pills, then a one big slit then two more until he’s sure he was bleeding to death.</p><p>To be honest, it also came a surprise to him. How suddenly he was exposing a part of himself and how suddenly he is ready to say it, to describe the feeling he never accepted to be part of him.</p><p>Or maybe, it has been known to the universe this dark part of his soul. Maybe it was already there for everybody to see and it was just only him who remained blind to it.</p><p>Sensing the growing agitation, Naruto answered in an almost whisper-like voice, “Why do you think it failed three times?”</p><p>Sasuke sighed. He closed his eyes as <em>unknowingly</em>, it started stinging, “because there’s always an interruption.”</p><p>“Have you ever thought why was there an interruption every time?”</p><p>Sasuke bit the inside of his cheek. He does not really think so much about it. His mind does not like to dwell on questions that has already been answered by many. Why must he provide his own? It will not make a difference, won’t it? He’s the sole heir of Uchiha corp. He grew up protected. He grew up with the ones only in his father’s list. He never made friends. He never even knew more than three of his cousins. The empire that his father built is only for him to hold, only for him to taste and only for him to enjoy.</p><p>But what’s a mass of wealth when there’s no drop of joy?</p><p>“You know, Uchiha-san,” Sasuke noted how Naruto seemed so close to losing his voice and for a second, he wonders why are they having such conversation.</p><p>“You know doctor,” He cut jokingly. And that seems to entertain Naruto. Sasuke saw how his cheeks colored a bit. “You don’t have to continue the <em>talk</em> at this hour. I paid for the fees-”</p><p>“You paid for the fees and there’s no free lunch in this world. So I’ll give you what you’ve paid.” Naruto said who unconsciously sinks himself in the sofa. Soon he knows, he’ll be falling asleep.</p><p>Sasuke didn’t know what came into him but the doctor’s answer ticked him in a wrong way.</p><p>“Is that how we are?”</p><p>“Huh?” Naruto questions.</p><p>And Sasuke thought he was drunk, except this time he has no wine to blame.</p><p>Only the afternoon sun and the cozy temperature inside.</p><p>“Are we just purely business?”</p><p>Sasuke noted how Naruto avoided his gaze. He could be telling that he’s moving too fast, but that would warrant a question of <em>where</em>. He does not even know where is this going. He’s just here because he needs to get fixed but at the same time he was told that he’s allowed to say it all because once <em>he </em>removed his eyeglasses, he is a friend.</p><p>He keeps on moving forward with no exact place to go.</p><p>Minutes have passed and Sasuke isn’t sure what to say next or what to do next.</p><p>The doctor who unconsciously burrows himself deeper in the couch is now positioned close to sleeping except that his head is cushioned a bit higher making it looked like he’s still sitting down.</p><p>“Because I am not allowed to die.”</p><p>Although a bit sick, Naruto noted in his mind Sasuke’s choice of words.</p><p>“And why is that?” Sasuke looked at the doctor as if the other grew an extra head. He seems to be getting in Sasuke’s nerves. Sometimes, the doctor asks the question with the most obvious answer.</p><p>“Because they do not want me dead.” And Sasuke will not let him play that game easily.</p><p>He can play with words. Just like that.</p><p>His father needs an heir. His mother needs at least one of his sons to be alive.</p><p>And Sakura - <em> fuck the investors.</em></p><p>“There you go.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“One reason to keep yourself alive.”</p><p>“You call that a reason?”</p><p>“Not a good one.” Naruto coughed a little bit and Sasuke grimaced at the sound of it. “But still, a reason.”</p><p>“But that’s different.” Sasuke stood up and he can feel the doctor’s eyes following him.</p><p>He got a glass of water and offered it to the doctor.</p><p>“They don’t care about my life, they only care about my existence.”</p><p>That’s brutally right. To exist is different as to live. As they say, some people die at twenty but won’t be buried until they’re seventy. And to Sasuke’s shame, he’s a living testament.</p><p>“That’s not your fault, <em>Sasuke.</em>”</p><p>Had Sasuke heard the way he was addressed clearly, he didn’t comment on it. There are other things that occupy his attention right now.</p><p>With tender eyes, Naruto continued, “But why do you hurt yourself from the sufferings other people gave to you?”</p><p>The question has been asked several times to him some months ago. And with a practiced answer, he fluidly responded.</p><p>“Because that’s the only way.”</p><p>Sasuke dared to look at his doctor.</p><p>“Is it?”</p><p>And Naruto dared to stare back.</p><p>As if being challenged, Sasuke smirked and slouched himself a little bit. Naruto noted this behavior when Sasuke is slowly becoming comfortable taking the demons out of his box. And when his mask is slowly slipping…</p><p> </p><p>“I know you’re thinking that I’m no different from your other doctors, Uchiha-san.” Naruto looked tired and yet he tried to smile.</p><p>Sasuke was not amused it didn’t reach his eyes. But he allowed the other to continuously speak.</p><p>“But I am here to help you.”</p><p>“I heard that before. What makes you think I would see no difference of you from them?”</p><p>Sasuke was diverted at how his doctor struggles to fight the drowsiness that were making to his system. He thought the other looked like a child not wanting to sleep in the afternoon. He wouldn’t say he is cute.</p><p>Maybe that’s for another day when the birds are merrily chirping and when the winter comes to an end.</p><p>“I am helping you to help myself.”</p><p>Sasuke looked baffled at the revelation.</p><p>And soon sleepiness found its way to the doctor.</p><p>He was falling asleep but not before saying, “I need you to stay alive because you mean so much to me now. There’s no free lunch in this world, remember? As I do you a favor, you’re actually doing one for me.”</p><p>Naruto closed his eyes.</p><p>He knows he sounded selfish and he prays that Sasuke will not ask.</p><p>Because just like everyone else, he too wears a mask, and he too hides secrets, but that’s for another day, that’s for another night, when winter turns to spring and spring becomes summer.</p><p>Naruto cannot afford to add another one in his list.</p><p>He cannot entertain another guest anymore.</p><p>Especially at night, when his lamp stops giving its light.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>[Yo cous’, I heard you stayed with the doctor.]</p><p>Sasuke didn’t actually notice that he fell asleep on the chair. He was broken abruptly by the vibration he felt in the pocket of his pants.</p><p>It was Obito who’s calling him.</p><p>Not wanting to wake the doctor up, Sasuke moved to the kitchen.</p><p>“I’m hanging up.”</p><p>[Yo, what the fuck. Can a brother get a gossip?]</p><p>“Obito,” Sasuke warned.</p><p>[Goodness gracious, I searched the cutie and yeah he’s hot! Are you banging him right now?]</p><p>Sasuke grimaced at how loud and obscene Obito was.</p><p>“Why the hell are you calling me?”</p><p>[Ohhh, I see. Not wanting to disturb the sexy time, huh]</p><p>“Fuck you Obito, I’m hanging up.”</p><p>Sasuke sighed and eventually noticed his raging stomach. He looked at the clock and noticed the time to be quarter before nine. He has been with the doctor for six hours already. It could have been six hours in the office and now he accomplished nothing.</p><p>
  <em>Except for a little peace of mind if he’s being completely honest about it.</em>
</p><p>“Hungry?” As if on cue, the doctor materialized suddenly.</p><p>Sasuke nodded. Not trusting his voice right now. The doctor could pretend he forgot he said meaningful words before he fell asleep, but Sasuke doesn’t play that way. But for right now, he’ll let the doctor leads the game.</p><p>“I have ramen.”</p><p>Sasuke looked at what the doctor is holding and to be honest, he never had tasted one in that variation before.</p><p>“In cups?”</p><p>“In cups.” Naruto answered as if it wasn’t the most obvious thing in sight. “Mr. billionaire will be having it first time?”</p><p>“Shut up.”</p><p>The doctor laughed shortly before the cough consumed him. Sasuke is quick to give him a glass of water once again.</p><p>“Feeling better?” Sasuke genuinely inquired. Until now it surprises him how smooth they talk like this right now considering they have only seen each other thrice.</p><p>“Yes.” Naruto smiled. This time it reaches his eyes. “Thank You.”</p><p>Both of them began digging in. <em>Itadakimasu</em> sounded more of a jovial whisper amidst the silence. It was a couple of minutes before the doctor started talking once again.</p><p>“You know, Uchiha-san,”</p><p>Sasuke cut him shortly again, “You know, doctor.”</p><p>“Heh,” Naturo answered, “Let me finish will you?”</p><p>Sasuke hid the smile as he took a mouthful of noodles.</p><p>“I was surprised.”</p><p>“That I gave my day up?”</p><p>“No, simpler than that.” Narto slurped a whole lot of noodles so Sasuke waited a little bit for him to finish. “That you are here when I woke up.”</p><p>The businessman shrugged. Not wanting to make it a big deal even though every inch of him is itching to go back and work. Because that’s the only thing that he knows – <em>work.</em></p><p>To stop himself from thinking whatever must not be thought of, Sasuke steered the conversation away.</p><p>“So much about me, let’s talk about you.”</p><p>He saw the doctor scrunched his nose. Like a kid expressing his disliked to be the center of discussion.</p><p>“Nothing. Change of weather, I told you right?”</p><p>“So a change of weather can make you talk in your sleep?”</p><p>Naruto bit his lips, tasting the miso along the way. But there was something bitter in it. Must be the embarrassment he was feeling right now.</p><p>“What did I say?” He inquired.</p><p>Sasuke just shrugged. As if he was challenging the doctor to coax him a little bit.</p><p>“Alright. Now, you know one of my secrets.”</p><p>Naruto asked Sasuke to stay, might as well, take out a page from his journal and let him read it. It would be unfair to say the least, yeah? To have someone walk in your life but not let them know you.</p><p>Even a tiny bit of it.</p><p>“That you talk in your sleep?” Sasuke sounded amused, a little playful for Naruto’s ears.</p><p>“And I have all my lights on. The bathroom lights, kitchen lights and even the TV, sometimes.”</p><p>Sure, when Sasuke looked around, he noticed how every single light was switched on the kitchen. But the TV remains unplugged.</p><p>“But I didn’t even realize that.”</p><p>“You will do later on so I’ll just say it now, yanno.”</p><p>Sasuke snorted at the informality. Nodding his head sideways, he quite like how this conversation is going.</p><p>“And that’s supposed to be a secret?” Sasuke urged.</p><p>To which Naruto supplied, “ask me why.”</p><p>“Why, then.”</p><p>“I’m afraid of ghosts.” Naruto responded a little bit more excited. As if sharing that one secret to a kid he made friends in the swing. “They freak me out.”</p><p>At that revelation, Sasuke burst out laughing. He can count in his one hand how much he laughed in his life. But this doctor made him laugh genuinely twice in a span of weeks already.</p><p>“Christ, you believe in them?”</p><p>Naruto nodded enthusiastically.</p><p>“But they don’t exist.”</p><p>Naruto looked thoughtful for a moment before he answered, “Oh they do. They come at night when it’s dark.”</p><p>“But why were the kitchen’s lights not turned on when I went here earlier?”</p><p>Sasuke remembered looking for a switch as he scrambles to answer Obito’s call thinking there was a report a reprimand from his father. It has been years since he was allowed to go out without a bodyguard and that’s only because he is going to the clinic.</p><p>It was astonishing to learn that Fugaku allowed him to go there by himself.</p><p>It was like his collar is being loosened for a fresh walk in the park.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t need to.”</p><p>“But how about the lights in the living room?”</p><p>“The lamp’s broken.” Naruto answered. The lamp Hidan gifted finally gave up.</p><p>“And the TV?” Sasuke mentioned, a mocking smile is blossoming on his face.</p><p>“I don’t have to.” Naruto supplied easily.</p><p>“And why not?”</p><p> </p><p>“Because you’re here with me.”</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke looked at the clock nearing almost ten in the evening.</p><p>He sighed.</p><p>Tonight, was the first night he lost himself but in a way that he gained something.</p><p>
  <em>But that’s not for you to find out.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This was unebeta'd so please do not mind the grammar errors. I will soon tweak them but lemme upload it first.<br/>Anyways, as you can see, I am still trying to stick with canon's personality but this fic is gloomy, hehe. We cannot do that a too much sunshine Naruto here. So, I apologize. </p><p>Also, I want to write Sasuke here as a compassionate and yet emotionally constipated guy. Andddd, I may not be able to achieve that haha but I would want you to know it anyway. So, what can you say of this chapter? Hmmm....</p><p>-Polin</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Six</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The leaves are turning brown, the wind’s getting a bit chilly and the roads are now full of what we could say as telltale signs of fall. But no matter how much leaves fall, how much it snows or it rains, Sasuke sticks to one routine.</p><p>Obito, of course, is the first person to oppose such boring regime. But Sasuke listens to no one. Not until yesterday- when he stayed with the doctor until he can’t take it anymore. The doctor didn’t suggest for him to stay the night even if it was almost close to midnight.</p><p>Sasuke, of course, is the kind of person to oppose such rebellious idea.</p><p>To stay the night with your sick doctor? What’s this? Some sick kind of fanfiction?</p><p>Pathetic.</p><p> </p><p>He casually placed the cup of coffee on his table. Although his father didn’t like the idea of him putting a bar in his office, Sasuke didn’t listen. He can do everything but not without a cup of coffee. He opened his iPad to browse some news before he starts his day. He counted in three. Slow breathes. And his eyes took purchase on the door on his right.</p><p>Obito, may not be a man of routine, but he comes on the dot at eight in the morning.</p><p> </p><p>At 8:00…</p><p> </p><p>“Talk to me brother.”</p><p>“Good morning to you too, Obito.”</p><p>“Wow, such a rarity for an Uchiha Sasuke to greet me in this goddamn morning.”</p><p>“Sure. Now, get out.”</p><p>“Ayt.” Obito finger saluted him and walk backwards to the door while facing Sasuke.</p><p>Sasuke looked at the object in Obito’s hand right at his back. It was actually the gift that he asked Obito to buy earlier at the wee hours when he can’t sleep well. Might as well include his cousin in his predicament.</p><p>“I mean I just really got here to greet you but now I’m done, there’s nothing in here more that interests me.” It was clear that Obito is taunting Sasuke to spill some beans. Although time and time proved that it will only fall into deaf ears, nothing can stop Obito from annoying the shit out from Sasuke. Especially that this time, he’s in possession of what he deemed as <em>unSasuke</em>. And he needs to know what the hell is going on.</p><p>It took Obito only one look to realize that Sasuke does not care with his antics and if he would squint his eyes properly, he would see that it was his budget proposal for the coming months that Sasuke is currently checking. Yikes, there goes his resignation for the matter at hand.</p><p>“For the love of all things holy, can an Uchiha entertain a joke? Man, you’re boring as hell. I doubt this new boyfriend of yours can stand your assholeness-“</p><p>“Boyfriend?”</p><p><em>There ya go.</em> Now, he got Sasuke to talk. Obito smiled slowly, eyes holding an assumption Sasuke finds irritating.</p><p>“Yeah? Deidara? The blonde stud you screw last time.”</p><p>Sasuke smirked at the mention of the name, head nodding sideways in a manner that Obito finds weird.</p><p>“Shit Sasuke, is that a smile I see on your face?”</p><p>“Shut up, Obito.”</p><p>“Sasuke fucking Uchiha is fucking smiling, tell me the world is ending.”</p><p>“Your budget’s ending.”</p><p>“Shut up, man. And really, a lamp? Dude, that’s the gayest gift I’ve ever seen.”</p><p>“Obito,” Sasuke gave a fair warning but Obito seems so adamant to let ADHD take him over.</p><p>“No way, Sasuke! I really thought that y’all hand your ass to Naruto, considering last night-“</p><p>Obito wasn’t able to finish his sentence as he saw the smile slipped off from Sasuke’s face. <em>Right.</em></p><p>“Naruto?”</p><p>“Yeah, your shrink?”</p><p>“Since when he’s Naruto? I believed <em>we</em> call him Dr. Uzumaki.” Sasuke went back to scrutinizing his proposal and Obito saw a big red circle in one of the amounts he wrote.</p><p>But that won’t deter him. He’ll milk the hell out of Sasuke.</p><p>“Dr. Uzumaki, my ass. Kakashi called me Mr. Uchiha at first and the next thing I knew I was down on my knees and he’s moaning <em>Obito</em> –“</p><p>“Christ, Obito. You and your lewd mouth.”</p><p>“So, why on earth would you give Deidara a lamp? And god, it’s not blue, it’s not purple and it’s not even the common white lamp but it’s a freaking soft orange medium-sized lamp!”</p><p>“Your voice drills in my brain.” Sasuke put a palm on the bridge of his nose. It looks like Obito will rat him out.</p><p>“And what’s with orange? Did he suck your dick so hard that you even know his favorite color?”</p><p>“It’s Dr. Uzumaki.”</p><p>“Oh yeah, what about him? Did he suck your dick last night too and oh-“</p><p>Sasuke paused before he continued putting red circles on Obito’s proposal.</p><p>“Oh, it’s Naruto.”</p><p>“Doctor Uzumaki.”</p><p>“It’s the fucking shrink! Oh my god! I know there was some fucking last night.”</p><p>“We just talked Obito. And can you please stop thinking me fucking someone else because it freaks me out.”</p><p>“Dude,” Suddenly Obito whipped out the lamp he was holding behind his back the whole time and waved it frantically in front of Sasuke. “You wake me up at dawn just to look for this weird lamp and now you’re telling me that nothing happened?”</p><p>“I am not like you, Obito. Stop thinking that everything is about sex.”</p><p>Wow. Obito thought. That doctor must be really good in whatever he’s doing.</p><p>“And stop calling it weird.”</p><p>Obito’s eyebrows rose. Sasuke ignored his surprise.</p><p>“Put it down before I throw you out.”</p><p>Obito carefully put the lamp on the table beside Sasuke. He was about to let this matter go as he saw how his budget seems to deplete every time he opens his mouth. But he saw a whole box of essential oils and a brand new, expensive looking humidifier that he once told Sasuke to buy for him.</p><p>“Yo, what the hell? And now you’re buying me gifts too? Maybe I should start meeting this Dr. Uzumaki and have drinks with him.”</p><p>Sasuke sighed. His head is now beginning to throb.</p><p>“You only have five seconds to leave my room.”</p><p>“But the oils!”</p><p>“Are not yours.”</p><p>“What!?”</p><p>“Get out, Obito.”</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke pushed Obito out and closed the door. He heaved a sigh and walked back to his table where the lamp and the rest of the gifts are situated. He allowed a moment of silence to take him over.</p><p>He picked up a pen and a card and started writing. Documents can wait. For now…</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>With tender eyes, Naruto continued, “But why do you hurt yourself from the sufferings other people gave to you?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The question has been asked several times to him some months ago. And with a practiced answer, he fluidly responded.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Because that’s the only way.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sasuke dared to look at his doctor.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Is it?”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>It was lunch time. And Sasuke hasn’t still sent the gifts to the doctor yet. For some reason he does not understand, he feels like he’s doing something wrong. As he was looming the fact that he hasn’t sent the gifts yet, memories came back flooding his mind. It as if he can’t stop thinking about the doctor.</p><p>While he is drinking of what seems to be like his third cup of coffee, Sasuke mulled over the things they talked about last night. At first, they were talking about how the doctor needed his cooperation and next thing, he’s surprised with how another word is rolling off from his mouth.</p><p>
  <em>“How about rebellion?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sasuke scoffed. There was a noodle dangling at the corner of the doctor’s mouth and Sasuke can’t bring himself to point it out. Also, he can’t imagine that this person – with blue eyes, calming smile and – Christ.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Would suggest such a thing as rebellion. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It sounds sexy and dangerous, to be honest.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“You do not have to do what they asked you to do. In fact, I am asking you to do exactly the opposite.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sasuke scooped the runny egg, contemplating whether to eat it or not. But in the end, he decided to devour it as he thought that the doctor may find it offensive if his guest would not finish his food even if it just cup ramen. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Like?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Like,” The doctor started but opted to slurp some noodles first. Sasuke nodded his head sideways. “Like going to a bar when the schedule says gym.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sasuke looked at the doctor as if the latter grew two heads. It was kind of comical as the former is supposed to eat some forkful of noodles. Naruto can’t help himself from chuckling. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“That’s not what I exactly wanted to do.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Then what?” The doctor poked his tongue out in attempt to wipe off the sauce in his lips but stop midway when he saw Sasuke looking at him, or rather at his tongue. Red colored his face. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Maybe, go to an ice cream parlor and order one with pink sprinkles.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sasuke tried to hide the blossoming smile on his face by slurping the last of his ramen while Naruto looked at him ridiculously like how he did earlier – as if he grew two heads.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“That’s so unSasuke.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sasuke smiled this time – not hiding it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“That’s rebellion.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Not hiding it, Naruto smiled this time.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Beautiful. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Got it.” </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Rebellion, huh.”</p><p>He was reeled back to reality when he noticed the shrill sound of his phone at the background.</p><p>It was Sakura.</p><p>What a perfect timing. Right when he’s thinking of flipping his life over.</p><p> </p><p>“You called.”</p><p>[7 PM, tomorrow.] This is what he likes about Sakura. She is not in love with him.</p><p>“For?” Sasuke is never to waste a good brewed coffee. But Sakura made it impossible for him to enjoy it.</p><p>[My parents are inviting you for a family dinner.]</p><p>Sasuke sighed. And Sakura had the audacity to laugh.</p><p>“Alright. I assume my parents are invited.”</p><p>[I called them. This is me saving you from something that would kill you. Aren’t I lovable?] Sure, Sakura knows what questions to ask.</p><p>“So, why are you calling me? I am sure as hell the news will reach me without you telling me.”</p><p>[Oh sweetheart,] Sasuke gnashed his teeth together. [I just wanted you prepared.]</p><p>“Prepared?” Sasuke scoffed.</p><p>[Say, whatever you want to say but even if we hate each other, I want this meeting to go well.]</p><p>Sasuke didn’t say a word. He wouldn’t say he agrees with Sakura but that’s not what exactly he wants to happen either - for the meeting to go well. He wants it done, destroyed and stiff.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was already a quarter to six and yet Sasuke didn’t feel an ounce of apprehension in this meeting.</p><p>What’s there to talk about?</p><p>Aren’t they getting married?</p><p>The knot has been tied sans the ceremony and papers.</p><p>It is what it is.</p><p>What’s there to talk about?</p><p>He looked at the gifts that are safely wrapped in a box and simple ribbon. Sasuke kept the colors muted. It wasn’t as loud as what it looked like earlier when he asked Obito to box it for him. The doctor looked like he’s a silent man. A dangerous one if he may say. But that’s because he knows his secrets. Those that Sasuke chose to bury deep inside.</p><p>Until now, he still doesn’t know what prompted him to buy those gifts. He isn’t a giver in the first place. He would be giving gifts on Christmas. But just because he’s expected to. He would be giving gifts to clients. To Obito. To Sakura. To his staff. To his parents.</p><p>But what business does he have with the doctor for him to receive a gift from Sasuke?</p><p>He couldn’t say it was his first time gifting an “outsider”. If you can word it that way.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Or you could sleep late and wake up late. Like 10-ish and go to work at 11-ish.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The doctor’s suggestion doesn’t seem bad. But Sasuke does not get enticed with sleep. He would wake up at 6 in the morning eventually.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“10-ish, 11-ish.” Sasuke repeated.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Is that funny?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sasuke snorted. Mind you, he never snorts. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Never heard of someone reading time like that.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Heh.” Naruto acquiesced.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“But that’s rebellious, I agree.” Sasuke added. “I would try that some time.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The doctor slurped his ramen down to the last drop. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Some time.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>And then he smiled so beautifully that Sasuke has to look away. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Rebellion, huh.” What a beautiful word. But such disastrous event.</p><p>He stood up. They agreed to meet at the restaurant at seven but now at 7:05, Sasuke is still inside his office. He looked one more time at the gifts before turning off the lights, coat in his hand. He decided to just send those after this whole shit. He believes the doctor doesn’t deserve to receive these when his mind is in chaos. He does not understand what he meant by that but it’s just doesn’t feel right.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Let’s say, it is now thirty minutes past seven and Sakura had called twelve times.</p><p>Sasuke never wanted to waste his fees. He pays the doctor large sums of money. Might as well put his advices to good use. Now, he’ll start his rebellion.</p><p>And Sasuke smokes. Twice now.</p><p>On his third stick, he chose to answer the call. But only to end it at Sakura’s first word.</p><p>He fingered the scars at his wrist. His parents are there. He could picture out their faces, especially Fugaku. His mother might be worried but not enough to make her call him. He closed his eyes as sucks his tongue. He’s becoming anxious to what could have been his first attempt of freedom.</p><p>It’s not working. Fuck. He should have gone inside when the clock struck seven.</p><p>He wants to quit smoking. But his problems won’t quit him. And now, he’s doing this stupid rebellion. He trusts the doctor so he heeds his advice but what now?</p><p> </p><p>“Christ.” Sasuke opened the door of his car. He walked to the restaurant.</p><p>Greeted Sakura’s parents who saw him first.</p><p>Kissed his mother.</p><p>Nodded at his father.</p><p>And hugged Sakura.</p><p>Fuck, he smelled like cigarettes.</p><p>“Nice to see you Sasuke, I was so worried about you. What happened, babe?”</p><p>And Sakura smelled like lies.</p><p>“You’re extremely late.” Sakura’s father mentioned. “That’s out of your character.”</p><p><em>That’s so unSasuke.</em> Ahh, that’s what he said.</p><p>“I apologized, Sir. I lost track of the time. Got caught up in work.”</p><p>Sakura’s hand took purchase at his knee, holding him in place. Sasuke has to smile in return. He never smiles and Sakura knows that. That’s why the grip on his knee got tighter.</p><p>“Anyway, let us just get down to business.”</p><p>Sasuke tried so hard to keep himself from slumping in the chair. A habit he formed when he seemed to be taken over by anxiety. There’s this overwhelming feeling of wanting to sit in a way where his muscles won’t be tense as his problems slowly eat him.</p><p>“Before that, how are you, Sasuke?” This time it was Sakura’s mother who asked him. In return, Mikoto smiled and her eyes searched for Sasuke. “I heard you’re seeing a therapist.”</p><p>This time, Sasuke saw how his mother struggled to keep that smile.</p><p>And Sasuke itches to correct her. <em>He’s a doctor.</em> But he decided to hold his tongue.</p><p>“I am doing fine. And yes,” he hesitated a bit. “I am attending some clinic sessions.”</p><p>“Oh, how unfortunate.”</p><p>Bullshit. If he’s going to be honest, it is rather unfortunate to be here than anywhere else.</p><p>“So, is there any progress?” It was Fugaku this time and Sakura has to grip his knee once again. Although they don’t agree to a lot of things, the two of them understands the pain of being a child of such powerful parents.</p><p>“There is.” He looked his father in the eye.</p><p>“Like?” Fugaku challenged.</p><p>“I’m still alive.” Sasuke smirked.</p><p>“Glad to hear that.”</p><p>“I’ll keep him in his toes.” Sakura added and Sasuke didn’t stop himself from looking at Sakura with sharp eyes.</p><p>Both parties must have noticed the tension so Sakura’s father interjected.</p><p>“Uchiha-san, we have decided of the perfect time and date for the marriage. We think next month isn’t bad.”</p><p>“Christ.” Sasuke whispered but of course, everyone heard it.</p><p>“My son appreciates it. He’s just overwhelmed.” Fugaku assured. “I think the faster, the better. My wife and I doesn’t see any problems with it either.”</p><p>Sasuke knows he’s going to be married soon. But he didn’t expect it to happen this fast. Christ, it’s just the start of November.</p><p>“On the 20<sup>th</sup>.” Sakura smiled toothily.</p><p>“Great.” Sasuke answered sarcastically. Sakura knows and maybe had a word in it but Sasuke could only listen to all of this.</p><p>“Well, then it’s settled.”</p><p>Then, the food was served.</p><p>And everything tasted bitter.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Escape can be in a hundred ways. Both beautiful and tragic.</p><p>One could drive to the sea, park the car and drink by the sea.</p><p>One could go home and order a Chinese take-out. Smoke. Then sleep.</p><p>One could go to the club and drink.</p><p>And that’s where Obito found Sasuke- in the local pub he frequents to.</p><p>“Yo cous’, this isn’t the high street. This is where the young and broke go, what the hell are you doing here?”</p><p>Sasuke opened his bleary eyes and drank his scotch in one go. Obito grimaced.</p><p>“Let’s say, I want you to drive me home.”</p><p>Obito laughed and hollered, his drink almost spilling at Sasuke’s polo. “Boy, your driver left you?”</p><p>Sasuke drank once more. “Went home. Told him I’m good.”</p><p>“Yeah dude. But I thought we’re celebrating. You survived the dinner from hell.”</p><p>“Congratulate me.” Sasuke asked for another drink.</p><p>“Uh, congratulations?” Obito raised his glass and Sasuke did the same.</p><p>“I’m getting married next month.”</p><p>“Fuck.” Obito whose mouth run like water. Doesn’t stop until you build a dam around it, seemed to be at lost to what to say. “You serious?”</p><p>“They’re serious.”</p><p>“You’re gonna be sold off to the bitch. It should be the other way around.”</p><p>“I guess, yes.”</p><p>“But didn’t the mother keeps ratting on the Feng Shui dates? What happened with that?”</p><p>“On the 20<sup>th</sup>. Guess they want us to be blessed by the baby Jesus.”</p><p>Obito looked at Sasuke with concern. It was his first time seeing his cousin so drunk voluntarily. Usually, he would coax Sasuke to drink just so he could loosen up. So it was such an obvious shock to him to see Sasuke drinking right before him in this place.</p><p>Sasuke’s head now hangs low and seems to be unaware of his surroundings. Obito thought of bringing him home. But as he gathers Sasuke’s things, the latter’s phone fell off. Not minding the nagging voice inside his head, Obito opened the phone and searched for the name that he first popped in his head.</p><p>“Boring.” He saw the name and his boring cousin really chose to name his contacts in a way a normal person would do.</p><p>“Dr. Uzumaki.” He changed it to Naruto then placed a heart emoji beside it.</p><p>At that time, he is decided to put it back to Sasuke’s pocket but Obito being Obito thought of doing one thing.</p><p>Why not call him?</p><p>Smiling devilishly, he hit the button and wait.</p><p> </p><p>In the second ring, it was picked up.</p><p>Obito didn’t stop himself from getting surprised.</p><p> </p><p>“Doctor Naru~”</p><p> </p><p>The line went silent and obviously, the doctor was shocked.</p><p> </p><p>“This is Sasuke’s cousin. And I think I need your help.”</p><p> </p><p>He heard the person from the other line gasped and Obito had to stop himself from beaming.</p><p> </p><p>“Hurry, he’s in trouble.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi, I'm back. hehe~</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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